Geoffrey Walton
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?- Dan Hicks & His Hot Licks, 1969

Michael Borgwardt
When you’re dead, it’s not hard on you. You don’t notice, since you’re dead. It’s just hard on the people around you.
It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Gulshan Zharbade
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”

Shama Bhopal
When someone cuts in annoyingly while you are talking..
“Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? ”

Dinesh Ram
“If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your stupidity and jump down to your IQ level.”

Rameez Choudhari
You are so awesome that my middle finger would want to give you a standing ovation.

Sanket Pisal
I like the sound you make when you shut up…. !

Alan Dillman
Silence is golden. Please make yourself rich.

Gary Sarratt
“He is a man of great potential… and always will be.”

Héctor Iván Patricio Moreno
“It helps you relax. It also helps you die. Dead people always look very relaxed.”
It makes me laugh so hard : D

Mayank Mittal
Once a girl wrote a feedback for me: ‘Be a little Polite while cracking Joke on others.’
I went to Her and asked: ‘you wrote this?’
She: ‘Yes.’
I: ‘You are looking Beautiful Today.’
Edit: Thanks for Such Great response.I would like to add, here, One more.
Your Rival: You think you are smart. Huhhh ?
You(smiling,Relaxed): Buddy. We all know…My Smartness Nothing before your Over-smartness.

Nihar Baijal
*Hey, I know everyone has a right to be stupid but you’re just abusing the privilege.
*Here’s a get well soon card. Hope you recover fast from your shitty personality.
*I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you, just accurately.
*I’m not sarcastic, just intelligent beyond your understanding.
*Hey, Sarcasm falls from my mouth like stupidity falls from yours.
*Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you, they can’t laugh either.
*I would like to apologize to people I have not offended, I will get to you shortly.
*I don’t hate you, just that if you were in a room with Bin Laden and Hitler… I’d shoot you twice.
*You have a very annoying habit – breathing.

Aishwarya Maheshwari
I love everybody: some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I’d love to punch in the face.
What didn’t kill you, should have tried harder!
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
I can’t make everyone happy. I am not Rajma chawal.
When Amir khan’s poster was released for the movie PK-”Thank god Amir khan doesn’t use an iPod mini to listen to music in the movie.”
The only reason lesbian wedding is still illegal in India is because no one has been able to figure out the Dowry Logistics.
India had entered into the AD (after Dhoni) era and with Kohli as the new captain, it is also the BC era now. :3
Best way to save your smartphone’s battery is to spend more time with your own family, & not with your future family.
Girls who tell they are Daddy’s princess, never tell that they’re Mommy’s maid too. :3
SAAS-BAHU daily soaps in HD quality means that now women can easily differentiate between the real and imitation jewelry. -.-
I still can’t figure out what’s growing at a vigorous rate. Terrorism or your belly?
It’s 2015 and you’re still as useless as “ueue” in Queue.
Math would have been much more interesting had Priya given 45 kisses to Ramesh instead of watermelons. -.-

via Quora