I had just written my engineering entrance exams and had a couple of months free before the results came & the admissions frenzy started. I decided to get a job and earn some money in these two months.
So then, began my search. A call centre was the best option. I came across an ad in the newspaper mentioning a vacancy for 12th pass candidates who could speak English. I noted the address and went there without telling anyone in my family or friends.
It was a shady place that looked like a smuggler’s hideout directly from a 1980′s bollywood movie.
A guy in pyjamas opened the gate and escorted me to something looking like a chair, asked me to sit & wait.Five mins later, the same guy came back dressed in formal clothes. He introduced himself as the *CEO* of the said *firm*.
He then asked for my *biodata*. I handed him my single page resume that I had got printed out from a cyber cafe.
He looked at my resume quite seriously . Bam!! Then came the holy question which would haunt me for years to come, in every interview that I would ever give – “Tell me about yourself.”
Me – “Sir, ummm…I’m Nakul Mahershi, 17 year old, I…ummm…I love football.”
Him – “Ok, that’s good. How did you come to know about us?”
Me-”Sir, I saw an ad in the newspaper.”
Him – “Ohk……So you came here for the telecalling job???”
Me – “Yes Sir”
Him – “Can you speak English?”
Me(In my mind – Of course I can, you dumbass, we ARE conversing in English fyi) – “Yes Sir, I can speak English”.
Him – “That’s Great, You’re selected”
Before my inner knight could start dancing at clearing the first ever interview of my life; he shooted again:
Him – “We’ll need to register your profile for which you need to pay a thousand rupees as registration fees.”
I smelled the rat. Even at 17, I was too smart for the bugger to rob me of thousand rupees. I thought of getting out peacefully without getting robbed.
Me – “Sir. I don’t have the money in my pocket right now…I’ll go home and come back with the money tomorrow.”
Him -”No, its a limited period offer. You must pay now or else the *seat* will go to someone else. At least pay Rs 500.”
Me- “I don’t have that much either.”
Him – “Hmmm…..Since you passed the interview, I’ll be generous and do your registration now for Rs 100, you can pay the rest amount tommorow.”
Me – “That’s really nice of you sir, but seriously, I don’t have Rs 100.”
Him (with a scary expression) – “How much do you have right now?”
Me – “Sir, I have ten rupees.”
Him – “Al right, I’ll register you for ten rupees. “
Me – “Sir, but this money I need to pay for the bus ticket.”
Him (in a heavy voice) – “That’s not my problem, Give me that note.”
That look on his face and the heaviness in his voice indicated he wouldn’t let me get away without taking the only ten rupee note in my pocket.
I stood up and started walking towards the exit.
He stood up, grabbed me in an offensive manner and tried to snatch out the ten rupee note from my pocket.
That is when I delivered the first punch of my life, straight into his eyes, followed by a kick on his balls, and ran away as fast as I could.
I swear I ran faster than Usain Bolt that day.
Interviewer: you got 30 seconds. Tell me 7 different uses of a blank piece of paper.
1) I’ll use it to write my will.
I’ll use it to write a love letter.
Interviewer: So basically I’ll count writing as one use.
Me: alright, so
3) use it to make an origami.
4) use it as a napkin.
5) use it as a plate.
6)use it to change a hot light bulb.
7)lend it someone who needs a paper.
Interviewer: you got 5 secs left.
Me(hurriedly): Use it to roll a joint.
Awkward silence for 5 secs.
Interviewer: welcome aboard. We need you.
Ps: I don’t smoke.
This happened to me in an interview with one of the best companies to work for. Let me keep the company name anonymous. The conversation is about smart-work vs hard-work and I am asked this question since I believe in smart-work.
Question: what is the best trick you have ever used to get something?
Answer: During my engineering I had a tough time studying and clearing this subject called Signals&Systems and here is how I cleared it.
To pass you need a combined score of 50 between internal tests and the final exam. My score is 14 out of 25 in the internals and hence I needed to score 36 out of 100 in my final exam to make the total 50(14+36).
So I was sitting in the final exam hall and irritated at how tough the exam was. I have hardly been able to solve half the questions and I’m sure that I could end up failing by a short margin.
At this point I decided to write a note to the invigilator examiner. This works sometimes if you are lucky and moreover my friends had tried this earlier successfully. All you need to do is write your internal tests’ marks at the end of the paper so that the invigilator examiner gives you the marks required to make it 50. So here is what I HAD to write:
Finals: 36 (plzz)
Total: 50 :-)
But me being an ass, got another WEIRD thought while I was writing the above. I thought “What if the invigilator examiner is another ass like me and decides to give me 35, just to piss me off for failing by 1 mark and also as a lesson to not write a note to the examiner again?”.
So here is what I write:
Finals: 37 (plzz)
Total: 50 :-)
Result: The invigilator examiner gave me 36 to piss me off for failing by 1 mark.
I have the last laugh.
I cleared Signals&Systems.. ;)
I cleared the interview round.. :)
But had to reject the offer for other reasons.
Interesting thing about the interview? – I am meeting the interviewer on a date in some time.. :D