Once I had a friend who was actually being too nice to people. Here are the don’ts that I had learnt from her :
People take you for granted. They take advantage of you.They don’t even consider possibilities of you ever saying ‘No’ assertively.
You end up making unworthy people a priority in your life.
They don’t know to set boundaries. These ‘too nice’ people are the ones who get hurt the most. They often are treated like ‘options’.
Their existence is acknowledged only when people need help because they are always available.
They feel it’s better to cry than to be angry; because anger hurts others while tears just flow silently through the soul. It’s okay if you are hurt but it’s a sin if others are hurt.
They are very expressive. So people find them very predictable, boring and they eventually detach themselves as there is nothing left to explore.
Everybody has an opinion and every opinion matters. They can’t just stop caring. They just can’t. It really disrupts their internal peace quite often.
They blame themselves if anything ever goes wrong. Because they are too nice to even think of somebody in a wrong way.
Not to forget, Too nice people don’t remain too nice till the end. Ultimately even my ‘too nice’ friend has gone through all of these things that has changed her in a way that she could never go back to being that person she once was.
In fact she helped me write this answer and I helped her realize.
1. People will soon start finding you boring.
2. You will stop being yourself.
3. You will start living according to expectations of others.
4. People will start taking you for granted.
Excess of anything is bad. It’s good to be nice but not uber-nice.
They’ll just walk all over you!
If once you give them the message ‘its okay’, they’ll just think its their birth right to do that every time!
Be nice to people, but be nice repeatedly – to the right people!
You really need to analyze who’s worth it and who’s not! Be nice to those from whom you can learn, who have something to offer back to you, not to leeches who are there just to extract from you.
The oldest saying
THE STRAIGHT TREES ARE CUT FIRST AND HONEST PEOPLE ARE SCREWED FIRST. – Chanakya
if you are too good you will be taken for granted, and your goodness will be taken for granted.