“You don’t marry a man, you marry a lifestyle.”
Who you marry has the largest impact not just on your emotional life, but also on your lifestyle.
Both the large and small things in your daily life and long term plans will be impacted by your significant other’s likes, dislikes, habits, schedule, health, personality, moods, job stresses, financial security, family, and situation.
For instance, how often will you go on vacations, and where will you go? What type of food will you eat, and who will cook it? Where will you live, and how clean will the house be? What TV shows and movies will you watch, and how often? When the toothpaste or toilet paper runs out will your partner get more or expect you to? How much sleep will you get? How many children will you have and how will they be raised? How many cars will you have, and will you lease or buy? Will you be in debt or have a large savings?
Lucky for me, I married my best friend and someone who fits my lifestyle. Jay Wacker, who loves to travel, cook, watch Game of Thrones, take pictures and who can be silly and serious.
When I was a little girl my mother told me that if you want to know whether a person is really nice, observe the way that person treats salesclerks, waiters, and other people in service professions who can’t defend themselves. She was 100% correct, and I’ve never forgotten it.
It is very useful in sorting people out.
“If you believe in equality , do not depend on men , don’t ask them to pick up and drop you , earn and then spend , take your own decisions and own the consequences as well “ . I am proud to have a feminist mom who believes that equality comes from taking equal responsibilities.
And she also taught me to cook , not because women should know it , but because everyone should know how to fix a meal . It’s a useful life skill.
It was year 2008 and I was about to appear in class XII board exams. My mother ( I used to call her Maa) was terminally ill and was diagnosed with cancer in its last stage. I had my 1st paper on 1st march, 2008 and a day before this exam my Maa had high fever. We all thought it was a normal seasonal fever and she took some basic medicines. At the same night, she was very sick and could not breathe properly and was feeling restlessness. So, at around 2:00 am my papa (father) was about to take her to the hospital. Since I had my exam on the same day and my Maa knew if I’m tensed I would not study and screw the exam up, so she told “Beta, jab bhi meri yaad aaye, tab padhai karna.”
Translation: “Whenever you miss me, You read something.”
This was the last conversation between my Maa and me. On the very morning she expired due to multiple organ failure. But my papa later told me that her last words were “Tell my daughter to go and take the exam.”
According to me, this was the best advice I could ever get from anyone. If I miss her, I read.
Drink more water.
My mother thinks that water is the remedy to every common ailment.
Got a headache? Drink water.
Feeling tired? Drink water.
Feeling nauseous? Drink water.
Feeling hungry but you just ate? Drink some more water instead.
She preached the importance of good hydration at every chance she got.
“If you’re thirsty you’re already dehydrated!”
“Your wee should be clear, not yellow!”
“You haven’t drank enough water today!”
She would freeze water in the bottoms of bottles and top it up with fresh water in the morning, so we could have cold water to drink throughout our school day.
We were never given poisonous, sugary soft drinks. Only water or milk-based drinks. And sometimes watered down cordials and juices as a treat.
She would even make myself and my siblings drink a glass of water before we left the house every morning.
As a child, I complained about all this fuss. But as I grow older, as it happens, I’ve come to see the wisdom in the practice.
I get dehydrated very easily, and feel sick, fatigued and highly irritated. Now, I constantly carry a water bottle with me, sipping from it regularly throughout the day.
This helps me to keep me alert, energised and my mood elevated. I’m ever thankful to my mum for instilling this habit in me!
I’ve even (reluctantly) noticed myself starting to sound like my mother.
“Drink more water… you’ll feel better!”