1. “When I was the leader of Slytherin House, I said that I wanted to Make Hogwarts Great Again so I can identify with this movement” @UncleChaps
2. Why exactly is Tom Riddle’s award for special services to the school still in the Hogwarts trophy room? @HogwartsLogic
3. FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue. @TVsCarlKinsella
4. Imagine being a hogwarts student in 2016 and walking into the room of requirement and seeing THIS: (Txt says “shut up and taste these lips”) @AnnaLank
5. DUMBLEDORE: Now, give a warm welcome to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Lucifer Serpentine HARRY: I bet this dude is great @skullmandible
6. [reading Harry Potter]
Me: Do you know what’s going on?
3-year-old: He went to lizard school.
I’d correct her, but her version is better. @XplodingUnicorn
7. Gryffindor: Do what is right
Ravenclaw: Do what is wise
Hufflepuff: Do what is kind
Slytherin: PUT A FUCKING BASILISK IN THE CASTLE @HogwartsLogic
8. “Newt Gingrich ” sounds like an ingredient you would use in Potions class at Hogwarts. @morganvctoriaaa
9. Hogwarts crb checks must not be up to scratch imagine employing someone with Voldemort under his turban @hanchazza
10. *puts on sorting hat*
sorting hat: GGRREAT LAKE! THROW HIM IN THE GREAT LAKE
me: nno can i be gryfindor
sorting hat: GGGREAT LAKE! DROWN HIM @jonnysun
11. Every year Harry Potter goes to school and somebody tries to kill me. Bro stay home 1 year, take a break, kick your shoes off,watch Netflix. @AdelTWL
12. [on first date with JK Rowling]
JK: I’ve already told you twice I can’t get you into Hogwarts. It’s not even real.
ME: Did you just wink @davedittell
13. how cool would house football at hogwarts be
like, quidditch is dope and all, but imagine malfoy getting trucked @thelastofdavid
14. do you think over summer holidays the hogwarts teachers go Wild and like, skinny dip in the lake and raid the kitchens at 2am @flowersnravens
15. imagine when muggle parents see the hogwarts letter and theyre like lol kid whos pranking you? @francoshrug
16. Reminder that wizards SHAT THEMSELVES FOR CENTURIES BEFORE MUGGLES INVENTED PLUMBING.
WTF JK ROWLING. @rudehpthoughts