*guy bumps my shoulder*— dan mentos (@DanMentos) May 23, 2015
"You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal"
"Vine?" [takes long drag of cigarette] Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long t–" "Vine? [takes long drag of cigarette] Now there's a— Jesse Berney (@jesseberney) October 27, 2016
When you take a great instagram pic but remember you banned the internet in your country pic.twitter.com/b661J9BujF— Daniel Zennon (@dzennon) January 11, 2016
So I configured slackbot to clean up flipped tables and I'm convinced my team now hate me: pic.twitter.com/85e9kyKnjO— Michael Pearson (@mipearson) May 25, 2016
1998:— Carol Nichols (@Carols10cents) July 2, 2016
- Don't get in strangers' cars
- Don't meet ppl from internet
- Literally summon strangers from internet to get in their car
if this doesn't sum up my uni experience so far pic.twitter.com/bXLILkWOaA— megg nog (@meghanjade_) October 16, 2016
2014: don't read the comments— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) January 9, 2015
2015: don't read the news
2016: move to the moon
2017: don't read the moon comments
I couldn't remember the word tumbleweed pic.twitter.com/cvKJ1zK4Mi— Hippo (@InternetHippo) February 15, 2015
On the pedestal these words appear:— Avery Edison (@aedison) April 30, 2016
My name is Ozymandias–King of Kings;
Look on my Works, and let me know what you think in the comments.
*holds newborn baby* why don't u follow me on Twitter u piece of shit— ollka crump (@dulcetry) July 28, 2015
I only joined Twitter to find people whose tweets represent the views of their employer. This is bullshit.— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) January 22, 2015
me on twiter: me me me me me— jomny sun, authoer (@jonnysun) December 19, 2015
me on instagram: me me me me me
me in real life: i hav never opened my mouth in public please do not talk to me
all of my apps are up to date and my devices are fully charged, why am i still so unhappy?— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) October 2, 2015
*turns on internet*— jomny sun, authoer (@jonnysun) October 25, 2016
computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once
*voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato— garth purkett (@garbagecoven) March 11, 2016
*friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something
when your internet goes out and you are forced to get to know your surroundings pic.twitter.com/Pb1361vwbV— FunnyPicsDepot (@FunnyPicsDepot) February 3, 2016
Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.— (@Sassafrantz) October 12, 2016
Check out this screencap of some idiot on a dating app who reached out to me through the lonely void, fearing this outcome above all others.— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) June 14, 2015
Internet Explorer: so about last night— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) June 26, 2015
Me: Oh, i used you for flash.
IE: Are we back together, am i your default?
Me: don't make this weird
*video doesn’t load within 2 seconds* well i guess i’ll never know— no (@tbhjuststop) September 11, 2015
A don't agree wae people who have aboot 37 bands in their bio know wit a mean it's a bio no a fuckin festival line up— JORDAN (@jordannnbruce) May 17, 2015
You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father's Day, internet.— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) June 18, 2012
9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet— ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) April 12, 2016
1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?