1. Randomly Hearing your favorite song on the radio is more satisfying than playing it directly from your ipod. rekdrektm9

2. Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still. FourWordReplies

3. When people think about travelling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future. kai1998

4. If I get up 10 minutes earlier than usual, I treat it like 2 extra hours and end up late for work. shercroft

5. Christmas feels more like a deadline than a holiday. skidvicious03

6. Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor it’d be insulting. HairlessHippie

7. A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won’t let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won’t let her go, people will likely get concerned. 1Calvin

8. When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow. benji9t3

9. If someone offered to pay for my food and rent for the next 18 years, I’d do anything they ask of me. But I complained every time I took the trash out while living at my parent’s house. __Pharaoh

10. If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history. I_yike_nat

11. When a company offers me a better price after I cancel their subscription, they’re just admitting they were overcharging me. Rhythman

12. Lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you’re criminal, mechanics hope you have car trouble, but only a thief wishes prosperity for you. lastlived1

13. People who are goodlooking but have terrible personalities are basically real life click baits. Wyndmusic

14. We talk about Ancient Romans like they were basically all the same, but the civilization lasted almost 1000 years. That’s like saying people in 2016 and 1016 are basically the same. SmokeyBare

15. If the movie “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” took place in Australia, those kids would have died real fucking quick. RustyShackleford298

16. “Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?” W0rdN3rd

17. Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can’t perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for. dwarftosser77

18. When you say ‘Forward’ or ‘Back’, your lips move in those directions. ManofProto

19. As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook. SnickSound

20. Tobacco companies kill their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers. FourWordReplies