1. Tales of the Lactose Intolerant: Episode 3 – Shouldn’t have eaten that sundae, but who knew the elevator would get stuck? @DanNaturman

Me to lactose-intolerant body: I’mma eat those cheese curds! You’re not the boss of me!
Later: …I’m sorry. I was wrong. @nkjemisin

*eats yogurt*
man I don’t feel well. I think I may be developing a lactose intolerance. better watch that.
*eats yogurt*
man I don’t feel we @MoyruhJo

4. I’m lactose intolerant af and I just ate a whole plate of mac n cheese because my mama ain’t raised no bitch. @jefrobongga

knees weak
arms are heavy
vomit on my sweater already
mom didnt tell me she put Parmesan in the spaghetti and Im lactose intolerant @Saraheres

I need a plate of nachos with about a gallon of liquid queso on them.
And a Lactaid chewable. @kcz_x

7. I’ve never met a lactose intolerant person who actually stops consuming dairy. y’all some wild boyz. @intens_ly

8. When those mofos at Starbucks make your coffee with milk instead of soy milk and you’re lactose intolerant AF. @tayyynicoel

9. If for any reason you’re lactose intolerant and decide it magically went away because u decided u wanted milk, don’t. @Dont_Kerr

I just ate a whole block of cheese and momentarily forgot I’m lactose intolerant
That’s 16 servings of sharp cheddar @kxbbletts

me: i’m lactose intolerant, i can’t eat dairy
me to me: eat the fuckin’ cheese and drink all the milk @irl_kades

DR “Hey you heard this one? What kind of cheese isn’t yours?”
ME “Nach-
DR “All of them. You’re lactose intolerant” @thepunningman

Me: *is lactose intolerant*
Me: *drinks one whole glass of full cream milk b4 bed* @shekinah_mikael

14. If you ever need a list of the best public bathrooms, date a lactose intolerant person. @LizZharovsky

me: hot choco with lactose free milk pls
cashier: with whipped cream
me: sure but i might poo myself @sadpotato_

I’ve just eaten 10 mozzarella sticks.
Only time will tell whether I’m truly lactose intolerant or not @asdfghjkLUCY_

17. Was so distracted by the cute barista I forgot I was lactose intolerant so I didn’t ask for soy and I’m about to shit my pants @dragonlord__

So should I wait to tell the guy who took me out for ice cream Im lactose intolerant or do I keep it as a butt sex surprise?
Dating is hard @SpankMeIm0ty

Me: *clearly lactose intolerant*
Me: *consumes dairy freely*
Stomach: *acts up*
Me: @julietselassie

Dad: where do you want to go get ice cream
Me: I’ve literally been lactose intolerant since 5th grade
Dad: oh that’s right @meg_garvin3