My “snooze” button should just be called the “nope, no yoga today” button.
Moose: Sorry, I need to quit this yoga class.
Yoga Instructor: NahMooseStay!
Using the toilet on the airplane means I’m certified to teach yoga now.
I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail.
My favourite yoga position is sleeping.
“Say ur a bad girl”
I’m a bad girl
“oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do…”
ooh i’m gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice
I didn’t realise how good I was at yoga but I do number 13 all the time
Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
I didn’t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip cookie that I dropped under the table.
Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose
Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger
I’m a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite
I do yoga so I can dress myself when I’m single.
I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights.
Yoga? No thank you. I’ll download an app to my phone so I don’t have to stretch for the remote.
I’m doing Bikram yoga today.
By that I mean I’m in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition.
*walks past yoga studio*
*looks in window*
Awesome. It’s like kindergarten.
*walks into class*
*takes a nap*
*shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe*
yoga instructor: you need to leave
me: oh is this not child’s pose?
[Dog yoga class]
Teacher: Alright, let’s go into downward human pose
[Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]
Yoga may be the key to your flexibility. Alcohol is the key to mine.
Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, ‘next we go into our downward dog,’ it is frowned upon to make the ‘bowchickabowow’ sound.
Fitness level: Just used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer.