summer: wait its midnight alredy?? the sun hasn’t even set yet!! lol
winter: HOW. HOW IS IT NOT EVEN 8PM. THE SUN SET LIKE 5 DAYS AGO
How different species deal with Winter:
Birds – fly south
Bears – hibernate
Humans – complain
winter transit tips:
- bring a coffee
- dress warm
- listen to soothing music
- stay home
- don’t go
- it’s going to suck, don’t go
Me: Do you know why it snows during the winter?
4-year-old: Because Elsa gets mad.
Yelling “WE CAN ALL SEE YOU ASSHOLE!” to someone wearing camouflage winter clothing in the snow is extremely satisfying.
You know it’s winter when you look at the toilet seat with disdain knowing “it’s going to be cold to sit on you”.
Silver lining: winter coat season is also ‘no need to put on a bra to run errands’ season.
What are you looking for?
- Casual dating
- Warmth to help survive the winter
winter’s fun cuz it’s like “hey everyone welcome to Depression Town I am the mayor and i live here all of the time always. by myself. hello”
Me in the summer: *cute dress* *cute hair* * cute makeup* *so cute*
Me in the winter: *a sobbing pile of sweaters*
[after months of bitter winter cold]
Nice, it’s finally warm!
It’s too hot
Snow gently falling.
December: winter wonderland
March: Fuck off already!
[me in winter] I’ll work out when it’s warmer
[me in beautiful spring] I’ll work out when… you know. When I feel like it.
Fox: Winter is here. We need a plan to survive.
Bear: I have a great idea! We just sleep until spring.
Goose: Wanna hear migrate idea?
Stay fit this winter; keep the Doritos in your kitchen instead of next to your bed so you have to walk a little to get them.
I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.
Winter wonderlands: Great for walking in, bullshit for driving through.
“What have you been doing over winter break?”
“Squirrels have to rely on getting fat to survive the winter,” I say eating a donut sandwich.
Bears just sleep throughout the entire winter and I can’t think of anything more logical in the entire universe.
Make sure you get your flu shot to protect yourself this winter from Taylor Swift’s sick beat.
look for winter 2017 is “large sleeping bag come partially to life”