Mark Allan Hoppus is an American musician, singer, songwriter, record producer, and television personality best known as the bassist and co-lead vocalist for the pop punk band Blink-182.
For lent, I’m giving up.
If we allow a female to become president, what’s next? Female doctors? Female race car drivers? Female mothers?! Female women?!
I love you, but not “look up from my phone” love you.
Here’s the thing about stuff: Hell. No.
ten minutes into blink-182 and chill and he gives you this look.
THIS IS NOT A PHASE, MOM!!!
frozen 2: frozen af
HOW DOES CHEWBACCA KNOW WHERE TO STOP SHAVING HIS PUBIC HAIR?!
Goal for today: make fetch happen.
Girl at the rock show: What?
You can have my hands when you pry them from my cold, dead wrists.
It’s getting less and less likely that in my life I will have the opportunity to vomit into an active volcano.
Don’t fuck with someone taking a photo with their iPad because they’re already at rock bottom and have nothing left to lose.
Here’s my brother Gene who we haven’t seen in years since he moved away we miss you call me
You’re all sweaty
And gross inside my bed
Hi I’m Mark. My wife is shopping and I’m standing here trying not to look like an asshole and it’s not working.
Someone a few houses over is having a party. I can hear the music and laughter and people enjoying themselves. I’m calling the damn cops.
[leaves you on *read* for three hours]
Roses are red
Violets are blue
[logging into twitter 2012]: Do you have any updog?
[logging into twitter 2017]: Does our beloved republic still stand?
The clown emoji is worse than when my parents got divorced.
woman behind me at this restaurant is laughing saying she never orders french fries but always eats her boyfriend’s and i’m boiling w rage.
if i ever die please make sure my funeral has a fire snapchat filter.
For Halloween I’m going as “Dractually,” a mansplaining vampire.