I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
becoming older than 10 years old was the biggest mistake of my life
me at age 10: why do adults like HGTV me 10 years later: tile floors? with THOSE cabinets?? ugh, you’re killing me, deborah!!!
AGING ACTUALLY MAKES YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE IF YOU CONSIDER THE FACT THAT SKELETONS ARE COOL AS HELL
Your 30′s mostly consist of getting excited when you find out a professional athlete is older than you.
20s: I can do anything I want, the world is my oyster
30s: standing here hurts my back
You know you’re getting old when your back goes out more than you do.
my anti-aging skincare regime consists of a plan to eventually get bitten by a vampire
i think the older we get the more interested in trees we become becuase we start relating to trees more than we do to other peopel
its important to get your shit together at an early age, so that when you get older, you have a big cohesive pile of shit
I am “if I have a hand stamp on the weekend it’s from a children’s museum” years old.
You can track how gracefully you’re aging by how often you mutter, “Oh God” whenever you stand up.
Ever since I turned 50, reading has become horribly similar to filling a bath with the plug out.
You know you’re getting old when all of your injuries are a result of “sleeping weird”
Do I put down my age in earth years or amount of joint pain?
Give it up if your self-esteem has finally emerged from childhood trauma just in time for your life’s slow aging downslope!!!
Kind of getting into this whole “going to bed early” thing old people keep going on about.
Life goals change as you get older. For example as a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian and now I just aspire to make it through the workday.
i would hate to be someone who is “gone too soon” but i love that it suggests there’s an age to die where we go “ahh… right on time”
AGE 10: I want to see the entire world.
AGE 26: I want to try 3-5 more hummus brands.