When you get to the party and immediately have to shit…
Don’t call me a party animal then get upset that I pooped on your carpet.
“Sir, this is the police, open the door immediately”
“But I’m having a poo”
“We know sir, the phone box has glass sides”
Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there.
I’m in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don’t poop.
“Get your poop in a group” is a childish way of saying “get your shit together” but I prefer my take of “gather the pieces of your feces”
Her: that’s disgusting
Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes
Her: you shouldn’t be pooping in the car at all
Sir, you do not need to moan “oh boy” when you are taking a shit in a public restroom.
when you’re taking a shit but your phones on 12%
guys whats it called when u poop& think ur guts r just 1 big cancer then u remember u ate beets last night 4 din? wanna know what 2 scream.
I took a really big poop during school and I whispered “good job” to myself then someone heard me lol
‘Pampers’ is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury
“Nobody wants to hear about pooping” Actually Mom, I think you’ll find that there’s an entire social network dedicated to proving you wrong.
A ninja turdle is when you poop really fast.
My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, “I don’t want Santa to see me when I poo.”
When you’re on the toilet looking at memes too long and need to learn how to walk again
Dentist: Ok, I’m going to start drilling.
“Wait! What if I have to poop?”
D: Then you should go now.
“Thanks I feel better.”