1. A Sunday roast that is literally just carbs and veg

2. Chip shop chips with spring rolls

3. Especially if you’ve got it from a carvery

4. A sad cheese-and-onion toastie from the garden centre

5. Coleslaw in a jacket potato

6. A sad cheese-and-onion sandwich from the supermarket

7. A Full English breakfast that’s not so full

8. A sad cheese-and-onion pie from a van

9. A Yorkshire pudding filled with nothing but beans

10. Pineapple and cheese on a stick as a canapé

11. A sad cheese-and-onion pasty from the train station. Can you sense a theme here??

12. More wine, while everyone else eats

13. The killer triple carb from a supermarket cafe

14. More wine, because the meat eaters made the most of the sharing plates and ate all your food

15. Cauliflower cheese as a main

16. A sad packet of ready salted pub crisps, while everyone else gets pork scratchings and scotch eggs

17. Lukewarm chips from Chicken Cottage while your drunk friend gets delicious-smelling fried chicken

18. A portobello mushroom pretending to be a burger

19. A mushroom risotto

20. An overcooked Quorn sausage prepared on a barbecue by a meat eater

21. Or worse, a pickled egg

22. And of course, a stuffed pepper