My Weird Dentist told me a tooth had to come out
I said “Oh, I’d Rather Have A Baby”
His reply “Make Up Your Mind, I Gotta Adjust The Chair”

My dentist was in the middle of telling me how important it is to floss when his dentures fell out and hit me in the head

When I asked my dentist what he gives to unruly kids, he answered “candy”. I asked why and he said “job security”

My dentist said I needed a costly crown. Sensing my shock he muttered, “Maybe we can do a tiara instead.”

My dentist says “It’s not brain surgery, unless I slip” He’s also my husband. After hearing it 1,000 times, it’s still weird

My Weird Dentist called me “your highness” ever since I got that crown.

My Weird Dentist uses flavored latex gloves and when he puts his hands in my mouth he asks me to guess the taste

I knocked out my teeth falling in the bath. My dentist: “You don’t even have a good story. Tell people it was a bar fight.”

I went to a new dentist to remove my wisdom teeth. Told him that I was afraid he said: “Me too … it’s my first time!”

This is his mask.. need I say more?


I told him I don’t understand all the decay, I brush my teeth all the time.He asked which end of the tooth brush I was using.

During a deep cleaning, my dentist suddenly sighed to himself and mumbled sadly, “I wanted to be a farmer.”

Looking at my tooth cap from a previous dentist, my new dentist said “wow, I wish my work looked that good.”

I told my new dentist “Bonjour” because her name was French. She saw my name and replied, “Konichiwa”. My name is Fernando.

I was 5. He asks what I want to watch, I said Barney. Over the next 9 years, he played the same Barney episode every visit.

My dentist stopped cleaning my teeth and pulled up google to prove to his nurse that blue came after green in the rainbow

*While working on my teeth*
Dentist: “How’s work?”
me: “Hhhhhhh”
Dentist: “What was that?”
me: “blhdsnsj”
Dentist: “Nice!”

when my dentist put on the lead vest for xrays, he said “I’m protecting your future babies… and my grandkids” He’s my dad.

Instead of giving treatment at my recall appointment, my dentist grounded me for having 3 cavities…..my Dad is my dentist

My Weird Dentist told me that a tooth is like bad sex: If it hurts, pull it out.

I asked My Weird Dentist about Invisalign. It was too expensive. Weeks later I got a FB msg asking if I’d take photos of his band in exchange

My Weird Dentist wears a necklace made out of human teeth… he told me mine were pretty but one needed to be pulled..

My dentist’s business card says, “teeth are the windows to the soul.”

My dentist had me wear these glasses during a root canal.


As i sit down, i hear my dentist say to her assistant: “strap him, this one’s a runner”-not a very comfortable session…

My dentist used to scoot his chair back to see how far he could squirt water in my mouth. My dad is my dentist.

My dentist asked me to stop seductively licking his fingers during procedures.

My dentist sings along to the radio while working on my teeth. It’s all fine and well until “Sexual Healing” comes on.

My Weird Dentist numbs my face then hands me a selfie stick and tells me to smile and then laughs.

After every visit, he reminds me to “keep your friends close, and your ‘enamels’ closer”.