boy: i wished girls liked sports
girl: i like sports
boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second
Women’s deodorant scents: rose, cotton, spring, meadow
Men’s: WINTER ICE, SHARKNADO, GLACIER PUNCH, ANTIFREEZE, GUN
When men have the flu vs when women are on their deathbeds
Periods are like a friend who comes bearing good news but then stays for a week, eats all your food, and borrows and ruins your clothes
We asked 500 men what they look for in a woman and then set them adrift on a raft screaming, because just kidding who cares
You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren’t the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names.
when it’s been 20 years and you’re still fed up of listening to men
Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.
are you even a girl if you don’t tell people you’re wearing jeans and a nice top ????
Don’t hate the player, hate the social construct of performative masculinity, which encourages weak men to conform to a sexist narrative th
every time I find something in forever 21
A cat-caller just said he wants to get “all up in my business” which is great because my taxes are complicated and I could use the help.
20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30
1-20: The weight of other people’s expectations & judgments
I bet a lot of guys who don’t think that rape is a big deal were super upset when that U2 album was put on their phone without consent.
me when boys compliment me vs me when girls compliment me
The moral of Beauty and the Beast is that looks don’t matter, as long as you’re a man.
A man once got mad bc my ma asked me for a tampon in Punjabi + demanded we speak English so my ma asked him if he had a tampon + he ran away
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.
When you shave for the first time in months.
I just love that you are a normal, cool girl.
*subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair*
Omg. I just realized. Of COURSE God is a woman. That’s why the Bible is an entire book filled with men explaining what she said.
If Thor is a woman, what’s next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?
him: i only like natural girls
Me: I know panty hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Bank Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, It is
The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you’re sick when you’re not wearing makeup is a circle.
attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for “hours”. thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i’ve got a lasagne cookin
hello we are experts making decisions about vaginas and black people
guys: women are a mystery.
women: Here is what we-
guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT?
women: well for start-
guys: Guess we’ll never know!
Man: I’ll never date a feminist
MY EX GOT A NEW PHONE AND ASKED ME TO RE-SEND PICS. LORD GIVE ME THE CONFIDENCE OF A MAN.
when u sit down and look at your stomach
I don’t need femims because we have lost too many men to the friendzone. The zone where they get to be friends with women. It’s a nightmare
Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realise everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow
Mona Lisa: (to self) Did this guy just tell me to fucking SMILE??
I can’t think of anything that’s better summed up what it’s like to be a woman
ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN:
-Little Black Dress
-Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn.
If you’re a male pundit critiquing a woman’s weight you should have to do it shirtless in front of an audience of women three rosés deep
a girl i know in her 20s with a 40 yr old boyfriend captioned a pic of him cooking with “my man can cook” UM HE IS 40 THAT IS NOT IMPRESSIVE
Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn’t have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.
baby: DESTROY THE FUCKIN PATRIARCHY *guitar solo*
Like a gender reveal but instead of eating pink or blue cake you smash a piggy bank to reveal $1 if it’s a boy or 78 cents if it’s a girl