If I lie down for 22 hours a day during my period and stay away from anyone with an opinion, it’s, like, pretty manageable.
I wish my PMS would manifest itself in a desire to clean rather than a desire to invent foods to put salsa on
I have my period so according to commercials I guess I should put in a tampon and go cycling now or something.
[me watching HGTV on my period]
I don’t even care if they love it or list it , i just hope they’re happy as a family
ive made myself a menstrual hut in the office
if you find it pls come by periodically to bring me snacks & then immediately leave me alone
Nurse: Drug allergies?
Nurse: 1st day of last period?
Me: Umm…Can’t remember. Ask Dunkin Donuts.
I never wear white during my period because it’d be embarrassing if I got bloodstains from killing someone who asked if I’m on my period
when ur having period cramps but u gotta play it cool
I don’t need a period tracker app I just know it’s coming when I start masturbating to mall pretzels.
My doctor asked where I was in my menstrual cycle so I told her I’m on the ‘assuming everyone is mad at me’ day.
putting my overheating macbook charger on my stomach to help period cramps because I’m a modern woman
I get it, guy with a sweatshirt tied around your waist. You’re on your period too.
If I don’t eat chocolate during my period what will my new uterine lining be made of?
forgot butter and ran down to the market with no bra and period boobs and i get why people get reductions now
If you do absolutely anything at all while on your period you should be given a Nobel Prize and a mountain of the food of your choice.
I don’t need to check my period tracker. I just pointed at a squirrel and said, “You’re a beautiful fuckwad, you know that?”
I feel like my period is throwing a Project X-style rager inside me right now. Like its parents went away for the weekend & my uterus is lit
Please specify reason for your merchandise return:
If you’ve never had period cramps, have you ever been stabbed repeatedly in the lower abdomen? It’s that but less fun.
things I’ve cried about on my period recently
1. a car’s sparkly paint job (reason: so PRETTY)
2. my dying plant (reason: i kill everything)
I wish that instead of apologizing, you could tell people “today is brought to you by my period”
My friend calls her period her “Aunt Flo.” I call mine “Fuck This Shit, I’m Getting Wasted And Eating Reese’s Pieces.”
Just talking makes my nipples hurt.
starting your period counts as half a day of work
Menstruation is a pretty metal adaptation. Like, no I don’t want to fuck right now. To further my point here’s some BLOOD.
a lot of women hate getting their period and I don’t know why. I personally love laying on the couch eating chocolate and praying for death