*petting a dog*
me: pls cure my depression
These two dogs just started barking at my dog and I couldn’t let my boi be outnumbered so I started barking too
Me to my parents: “see ya later”
Me to my dog: “bye, I love you so much, I’ll miss you, see you soon puppers, love you, bye!!!” Repeat x7
my dad had the dog sit up front while me and my mom and brother sit in the back
employer: why do you want a job here?
me: so i can provide for my dog
Hi, I spend 3 minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog, then I go to work and people take me seriously as an adult.
Wanna… go for a w-
Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to speak the same language as my dog
everytime I’m eating a meal
“Are u having kids?”
me: *stands up*
my dog: oh word? where we going?
Why is our dog walker acting like she’s in an intimate relationship with our dog just because we no longer need her
Smuggling my dog back to college.
My mom dressed up as my dog noooooo
so my dad works from home, and my dog always “goes to work” with him, and this just happened
me: wanna see pics of my dog?
person: no its ok
me: great! this is him playin. this is him sleeping. this is him being the CUTEST DOG EVER
sorry i didn’t txt u back my dog was watching youtube on my phone
[girlfriend sleeping over for the first time]
HER: This is nice.
ME: You need to move to the couch. My dog sleeps on that side.
I didn’t have a date for prom so my mom dressed up my dog & gave me a corsage
My dog jumped on me this morning and got my shirt dirty. I was so mad at her that I stayed mad for THREE WHOLE MINUTES! Boy was I steamed…
In 34 years I’ve said I love you to two women and every dog I’ve ever seen.
wish I could text my dog and be like “hey I love you” just to let her know like yeah we aren’t together rn but I’m still loyal and I miss u
5 things i want in life:
1. a dog
2. another dog
3. a big house for my dogs
4. parks to walk my dogs
5. a partner who loves dogs
We hired a dog to work on a photo shoot tomorrow & his day rate is $800. Going home to have a talk with my dog about his future plans.