1. This morning Amazon announced that it is buying Whole Foods Market for roughly $13.7 billion, and obviously Twitter had a lot to say about the deal.
Feel sad for the mom and pop $6 asparagus water sellers that are gonna lose so much of the market share now that Amazon bought Whole Foods.

2. Was Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos actually behind the purchase, or did Alexa make it by mistake?
Bezos: “Alexa, buy me something from Whole Foods”
Alexa: “Buying Whole Foods”
Bezos: Shit

3. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding?
Bezos to personal assistant: “Pick me up some groceries, please.”
Assistant: “OK, I just bought Whole Foods.”

4. Seems like a fair price.
I, too, spend $13.7 billion at Whole Foods.

5. OK, an exaggeration, but…
Amazon buys Whole Foods for 13.7 billion, roughly equivalent to 11 shopping bags of their organic berries.

6. I guess now we know where Jeff Bezos spends all his money.
“I just spent my whole paycheck on Whole Foods.” —Jeff Bezos

7. So maybe this means no more waiting in hourlong lines at Whole Foods on Sunday?
All I can hope for is free prime delivery on my groceries from Whole Foods.

8. Some hypothesized what companies will merge next.
GoDaddy to buy Cracker Barrel

9. But honestly it’s about time we recognized the true power of Amazon.
USA. United States of Amazon. (Amazon buys Whole Foods, what’s next)