Him: Baby are you mad?
We treat the Earth like we treat women. We don’t listen to it until a man says it’s true.
“Girls’ weekend! WHOOO!” I yell, quietly worrying about the pillow situation.
starting a charity that buys men in their 20s hand towels for their bathroom so u don’t have to dry ur hands on their nasty body towels
Third base is letting them see you without your eyebrows on
Me: I want to be able to think like a man.
[5 min later]
Genie: So what do you think so far?
Me: About what?
Whenever a woman tweets about feminism.
“So You Were Trying to Be Polite But Now He Wants to Wear Your Skin As Pajamas: A Woman’s Guide to the Internet”
God, imagine even contemplating sex in this weather. If a man came at me with anything other than a Solero, I think I’d cry.
*at my funeral*
Friend crying over my casket: look they’re burying her in her favorite dress
Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets
most successful men i know: laid back, easygoing, goofballs
most successful women i know: constantly anxious, fearful, eyebags
I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They’ve obviously never found their bra size on clearance.
if a guy wants me to wear less makeup all he gotta do is ask and imma say no
DID U KNO: women developed passive aggressiveness as a way to combat society’s aggressive passiveness toward treating them like equal humans
every time a man in power dodges accountability for sex crimes, women become more and more afraid to exist
attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for “hours”. thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i’ve got a lasagne cookin
Men convinced women that they are only good for their looks and then convinced them that caring about their looks is vapid.
mens basic tee: 100% cotton, white/black/grey
women’s basic tee: 95% elastane, SEE THRU, CUT OUT BITS???, “Cali Beach Club 77″ on the back