“Oh duh, it’s PMS, it all makes sense now,” she mumbled through chocolate-smeared lips as the house burned behind her.
Him: Honey, is your period due soon?
Me: [whittling breadstick into a shiv] Any day now, why do you ask?
It comforts me to know Michelle gets PMS too.
If a woman is eating unsweetened baking chocolate and crying at a costume montage in Devil Wears Prada, that’s PMS, son. You stay away.
I need a period app that tells me NOTHING about my fertility since I’m never having babies and EVERYTHING about when I’m going to have PMS.
me, a few days ago: i feel like literal death why am i so sad why do my boobs hurt so much period, now: HELLO NAUGHTY CHILD IT’S MURDER TIME
I’m at the point in my PMS that even old people in love are bumming me out.
When I’m PMS’ing I should just be locked in a room with puppies and blankets and pillows bcuz I’m too emotional for real life lol
I literally cried and went back home alone just because my boyfriend didn’t like the food that I like. PMS is real
I track my period by my reactions to laughing baby videos on the internet. According to the amount of crying I just did, I’m 4 days away.
On a scale from 1 to 10 my PMS has reached a Lady MacBeth.
I know I’m about to get my period because I saw one of those ASPCA commercials 3 hours ago & I’m still crying
You know those mornings when birds try to dress you & mice try to be your friends, but you’re like “Get the fuck out of my face I have PMS”
The cool thing about PMS is I just ate an entire bag of candy corn while sobbing because candy corn is disgusting.
I have PMS. This is what it looks like. I cried listening to a prank caller retire on Stern earlier. Now I’m in bed and angry at a blanket.
PMS symptoms may include: irritability, fatigue, bloating, cramps, crying about Batman
“I will cry my way through a goddamn Charmin commercial & rip the voice box out of a Furby if I want to.” ~PMS
Just teared up at this bar bathroom graffiti telling me to love myself so no, I don’t need your period tracker app
the week leading up to your period is the worst it’s honestly like playing russian roulette with underwear
“Who ate all my PMS chocolate?!?!?!”