parents: so what are you going to do with your life
me: it’s a surprise
i dont care if youre 7 there is no way i am letting you win an easter egg hunt welcome to the real world jackass
young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care
i get so excited when i can’t remember the name of someone i knew in high school it’s like i’m one step closer to being fully cleansed
Spoiler alert: adulthood is 96% of you going “well, I hope this is how it works and I’ll keep doing it till someone yells at me”
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
me talking to an adult about computers: yes babette i know everything. yes its going very quickly. thats bc im familiar with it. just let me – done. you’re welcome me talking to a tech person my age: do i look like i know what a jpeg is
When you make an adult decision without calling your mother first.
Stop, Drop, and Roll was always such a big deal as a kid… I really thought I’d be on fire more than this as an adult.
me as a kid: why do adults talk about nothing but the weather all the time? that’s so boring! who cares?
me literally every day as an adult: why the fuck is it so hot outside. the earth has no business being this hot
they need to make bigger juice boxes to quench my adult sized thirst
me: *performs a basic function of an adult human in society*
me: I am so on top of it today
me, a 21 year old adult, when I go grocery shopping by mysel
breakfast for dinner is fun when you’re a kid but when you’re an adult it’s just like “yo i ate lunch at 5 PM today and linear time is functionally meaningless”
no your honor I absolutely can make my case like an adult. first things first, fuck the defendant and fuck his family too. secondly,
When you’re an adult and you see advertisements for new episodes of “SpongeBob” and “The Fairly Odd Parents”
*puts a normal sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots so they have adult supervision*
haha! have fun at highschool today NERDS. i’m gonna be doing cool ADULT stuff like sleeping WHENEVER i want and CRYING
adult life might be full of pain and suffering but at least we dont have to do PE anymore