1. When this is what happens when you drink
early 20s: i’m drunk, let’s text an ex
late 20s: i’m drunk, let’s go to CVS & buy toiletries

2. And this is what happens after you drink
now that im in my late 20s, my hangovers last approx. 9 days.

3. When you walk into the mall and realize this
The realization that you’re too old to shop at Forever 21 is a true sign that adulthood is here to stay.

4. When you accept the fact that everything you thought was a lie
Late 20s: when you finally realise that there will be no magical period in your life where you have neither wrinkles or pimples.

5. And you just embrace your life for what it has become
Late 20s = Finding gray hair and wrinkles, while popping zits and hiding inconvenient erections.

6. When just looking at food makes you gain weight
thinking about how bullshit it is that once you are old enough to be able to buy/eat an entire bag of marshmallows, your metablism is gone

7. And when nothing can make you feel as enthusiastic as a purchase like this
I’m, “SUPER excited to use my new vacuum!” years old.

8. When you are equal parts happy and accepting of moments like this
100% in my late twenties now and my grandma buys me a ‘make your own penguin kit- yes I did it straight away


9. And when you are equal parts scared and excited of moments like this

10. When you want to spend more time in your bed than anywhere else
Tonight involved multiple naps in various places before making it to my bed. Friday nights in your late 20s.

11. And when you want to spend the rest of your time like this
I’m eating burnt popcorn and buying shoe insoles online. I can’t believe I was ever worrying I would become boring in my late 20s

12. When you still use social media, but in a very different way
Youths are using snapchat for nudes while 99% of the snaps I get are from my buddy who does construction.

13. And when you still gossip, but you have to keep yourself in check
‘He said not that old, he’s like 30′
30 minutes later… what did I just say

14. And, lastly, when being the “8%” doesn’t scare you anymore
When does mid-twenties become late twenties? Asking for a completely unrelated birthday at the end of the month.