1. When you have this epiphany
Naming a baby just reminds you of all the people you don’t like.
2. When you have this scientific thought
It’s super weird to think that I have two skeletons in me right now…
3. And when you think about it a little too much
I just realised I may have a tiny penis growing inside me.
4. When you come up with this genius idea in your head
If your doctor is behind schedule and you have to wait past appointment time, they should have to order you a pizza.
5. When you think about being honest with your doctor
Dr.: describe your current fitness level.
Me: I got winded last night yelling at my dog.
6. When you are suddenly aware of life after pregnancy
dammit in less than a month and a half Im going to have to go back to getting my period. Fuck.
7. When you think about another reason you LOVE Target
Cried a little when they clerk at target told me I was beautiful…
8. When you ponder these types of choices
Constantly contemplating whether to get up and go to the bathroom or buy adult diapers for the last 2 1/2-3 weeks…
9. Or when you wonder if people will understand your predicament
Think I’ll get in trouble if I just pull over in traffic and pee on the side of the road??
10. When you notice your body changing
It’s weird watching your belly button go from an inny to an outty.
11. When you think about how much the heat is kicking your ass
Being pregnant in the summer feels like you’re constantly in a one piece snow suit trying to get out of a snowbank
12. When you start ~wishful thinking~
I wish the Starbucks in the library sold pickles.
13. When you consider ruining your pants for a little relief
All I ask is to be able to poop. At this point I will settle for crapping my pants.
14. when you think about how other people should just keep their mouths shut all together
15. You reflect on your pre-baby body
16. When you realize other people should think before they speak
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