I went to a local restaurant where you order at the counter, then pick up your food. The lady at the counter gave me my total: “That comes to [$x],” and here she looked at me, “…which will become [$x - 10%].” I thanked her and paid, but wondered whether they were having a special or something.
Later, I looked at my receipt and saw those magic words…
I was only 51 at the time!
(I kept the receipt and framed it.)
This really cute guy asked me out for drinks. I accepted.
While we were sitting at the bar, he was telling me more about his life. Turns out he’s 10 years younger than me (not necessarily a deal breaker), lives with his mother and has no car. BUT, he assured me that he was about to turn things around in his life because he had just joined up with a pyramid scheme.
He further explained that all he needed now was “an older lady” to buy him a car. That, evidently, was where I came in. I politely declined, explained that I was not the girl for him, and got up to leave.
He said, “Wait! Remember how I don’t have a car?” and requested that I give him a ride to his mom’s house…
A few months ago, I was in an UberPool with a nice young man – he looked about 18, or maybe in his early 20s. He was picked up first, so when I got in the car, he politely said “Hi” and smiled. (Note: I live in Singapore, so most of us are pretty shy or reticent when it comes to talking to strangers, so I thought to myself, “Oh how rare, a polite young man with manners.”)
He was dropped off first. Politely, he thanked the driver. Again, I thought, “Oh, what a nice young man.”
Then he turns to me and says “Bye, auntie*!”, waves, and trots off.
*It may seem strange, but here in Singapore, we use the terms ‘auntie’ and ‘uncle’ often to address older folks or our elders, even if we are not related to the former.
Also, I wasn’t offended – had a good laugh with my friends after that!
In high school one day we were working on iPads. I was in a class with kids two years younger than me.
Girl: “Where is the save button?”
Me: “It’s in the top left corner, it looks like a floppy disk.”
Girl: “What’s a floppy disk?”
Me: “It’s the little blue square…”
Girl: “Ohhh, thanks!”
I understand floppy disks aren’t used anymore, but still…
I’m 40. Last year, I ran into one of my employees on a Sunday (he was about 27 or so) and this girl he was seeing casually, so we decided to all have lunch. She was about 21, and was pretty hot. There was something eerily familiar about her though, and I couldn’t put my finger on it for a while. Then she started talking about her family, and mentioned her dad by name. He’s one of my best friends. We’d grown up together, and he’s about 3 years older than me. I hadn’t seen her since she was an infant.
Yeah, that made me feel pretty goddamn old.
When I met my belly.
For the first 30 years of my life, I lived as a petite and graceful girl. I ate my desserts as appetizers. My friends and family gifted me chocolates and cakes. People would actually stop by my law office and drop off sweets so much that my boss once asked me, puzzled: “Why isn’t anyone bringing me any treats?!”
Many women told me half-jokingly: “I hate you. You can eat anything and still stay so slim.” I didn’t exercise. And even after I had my first baby, everything kind of snapped back together. All clothes always fit beautifully and never required alterations.
Then, one quiet December morning I was laying on a side reading a book peacefully. I look down and see … my belly laying next to me. WTF? It was like a small fucked up animal curled up nearby. This is when I knew I was old.
It took me a while to process that my party days are over. I cut out nearly 100% of sugar and I do walk and exercise. Although recently when I told my friend that massage is an exercise too because it’s kind of like passive yoga, she laughed so hard that she almost fell out of her chair.
Via Quora / Image Credit: Irvin L. Ortega