1. Seeing a million different things you want to buy but not being able to because you’re too broke.
2. And then when you do have money, seeing absolutely nothing you want.
3. Needing to buy a very specific thing like mid-heel black open toe shoes, and finding exactly what you want, but they don’t have your fucking size.
4. Seeing a sale at your favourite store only to realise it’s just two racks of the same ugly shirt no one wanted to buy.
Image Credit: BBC
5. Trying on a dress or top, realising it feels a little too snug on the arms, but persevering with it anyway to the point of no return.
6. Ending up with your head trapped in the material while your arms are stuck vertically and feeling like you’re going to suffocate.
7. Seeing your whole life flash before you eyes because you realise you might die right there in the changing room.
8. Wanting to cry because you’re too humiliated to call for help.
9. Because if they did come and help you, they would see that you’re wearing your ancient grey bra and those knickers with a hole in them that you keep forgetting to throw out.
10. Having to rip the outfit you’re stuck in, in order to set yourself free.
11. Cursing whoever designed such a piece of clothing and didn’t take into consideration that grown women don’t have the arms of a ten year old.
12. The lighting in the changing rooms being all kinds of hideous.
13. And there being several mirrors at different angles so you can see the pores on your face AND the spots on your back.
14. Wondering if everyone looks this terrible in a changing room.
15. Wanting to avoid all of this stress and so just going straight to the till with stuff in your size, and hoping for the best.
16. Trying it all on at home and realising it all looks terrible.
17. Never bothering to take them back and promising yourself you’ll just sell it all on eBay.
18. Never selling them on eBay and having to give them to that one mate who would look good in anything, even a fucking bin bag.
19. Trying on a coat on the shop floor and having to fight someone for the full-length mirror.
20. Or trying on accessories in front of the mirror at the same time as someone else, and accidentally making eye contact while doing a duck face.
21. Dropping your coats and bags in a corner while you do all of this and quietly worrying someone will take your stuff.
22. Going bra shopping and realising it’ll be a miracle if they have any of the bras you like in your size.
23. Having to put all of the bras back on those weird little hangers and losing the will to live.
24. Finding only one bra that fits after trying on a thousand, but it only being available in nude.
25. Having to calm yourself down after being in bra hell with the knowledge that at least it’s not as bad as shopping for jeans.
26. Falling in love with a top and then realising upon further inspection that it has the words “boobs, brunch and babes” written on the front.
27. Feeling the slight sense of shame of going into the changing room with ten items and coming out not wanting to take any of them.
28. And then leaving the store feeling like you’re gonna get stopped for shoplifting.
29. So making sure that you browse through some racks by the exit before walking out really slowly so you don’t look “suspicious”.
30. Never knowing what size you’re gonna be in any given store.
31. And questioning your body type just because a store doesn’t know how to make clothes for actual women.
32. Trying on something that fits really well everywhere except for one area.
33. Buying it anyway in the hopes that you’ll eventually fit into it.
34. Because who knows, maybe your armpits will change shape in a year’s time.
35. Being so done with shopping that you just decide to wear what you always wear.
36. But buying a new necklace to make it “different” because accessories never let you down.