I was going to wear a scary costume to take the kids trick or treating, then realized going as a mom with 6 kids is terrifying enough.
8yo: I want to paint my pumpkin this year!
Me: Cool, what color?
Me:*pours drink* let’s do it
Went to my kids Halloween function at school. Did not dress up. Wore jeans, t-shirt & my glasses. A mom asked me if I was dressed as nerd.
I make so many sacrifices for the health of my children.
*eats the candy out of my kid’s Halloween themed Lunchable*
My kid wants $20 to go through a corn maze with his friends, which is $20 more than I normally pay to walk through vegetables.
It took 9 months of pregnancy and a few years of rearing,but my Halloween candy capturing creation is finally ready.
Me: What do you say when you hold up your bag?
3-year-old: Treat or treat.
Me: TRICK or treat.
3-year-old: I want to treats.
Is this it?
-kids on a hayride
I’ve informed my kids that the Dad Tax on Halloween candy will be 65 percent this year.They should be proud to do their civic duty.
“Mommy, I thought you said this was a corn maze?” my kid hollered, running after me as I drove away from some field.
Parents 364 days a year: Don’t take candy from strangers.
Parents on Halloween: Take candy from strangers. In the dark. And share with me.
Sure, my kid is all happy his Halloween costume came in the mail but now what am I going to hold over his head to not behave like an asshole
9: Daddy, tell me a scary story.
*takes off my shirt and holds up a picture from when I was 20 beside me for comparison* 9: Dear God…
Shout out to all the parents whose kids have changed their minds today about their Halloween costumes.