1. This boyfriend who didn’t really ~get~ the memo.
My Girlfriend and I interpreted the dress code a little differently. It said casual?!
2. This husband who likes drama.
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME!” People awlays clap when she wakes up.
3. This husband who just wants to save a few bucks.
i’ll have the chicken finger platter & my lovely wife will have
*hands over coupon
something of equal or lesser value
4. This husband who knows he can rely on his wife to get him out of a pinch.
My husband just texted me from the bathroom and asked me to bring him “A LOT more toilet paper,” so yeah, the romance ain’t dead people.
5. This husband who’s about to get looped into THAT conversation.
*Bae asked what do I want to eat*
Me: I want chicken alfre-
Me to me: tell him you don’t know
6. This boyfriend who knows the way to any person’s heart.
I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend “are you ready to fucking rage” as they walked into target together and that’s what I want
7. This husband who just needs to take a few steps back.
My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
8. This husband who knows the true meaning of pain.
When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
9. This husband who prepared for the worst in, actually, a very cute way.
My husband’s so smart.
He’s prepared for the Apocalypse by leaving pants puddled on the family room floor so he can make a quick exit.
10. This husband who just came to an interesting realization.
My wife’s shampoo has “oxyfusion technology” so I’m pretty sure my wife’s shampoo is smarter than me.
11. This boyfriend who probably shouldn’t write a dating book.
Impress your date by calling the waiter a “fucking coward” when he warns you that your plate is extremely hot.
12. This husband who needs to get his mind out of the gutter.
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn’t wanna share.
13. This boyfriend who has a good grasp on reality.
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
14. This husband who learned a lot from his wife.
Before I got married I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
15. This husband who should be named “King of Dad Jokes.”
doctor: [handing me my new born baby] I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it
me: [handing baby back to him] bring me the one my wife made
16. And, finally, this boyfriend who is not only thoughtful, but also resourceful.