My aunt got a google home for Xmas & she already has “Alexa”. This morning we were messing around with the google home and asked, “ok google what do you think of Alexa” and it answered “I like her blue light” and from across the room Alexa turned on and said “thanks”. im scared
My mom’s Alexa randomly turned on and started glowing and my mom was like “Alexa what are you doing?” And she said “i’m trying to learn new things” and my mom said “no one told you to do that” and she was like “ok” and turned off.
Me, “Alexa, make all these people leave my house.” Alexa, “Playing Nickelback.”
my parents got an amazon echo for christmas & all they do is shout at it & get disappointed by all it can’t do. i’ve been replaced by alexa & it’s great.
One of my supervisors kids was telling her a joke in front of her Alexa and out of no where Alexa said “thats a funny joke.” And then proceeded to tell her own joke
Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware?
Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware?
M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa
My Mom: ” Alexa, honey, please stop the music”
Alexa gets spoken to better than me and she’s not even real
I just called Siri Alexa. I’m starting to think there is too many fake women in my life.
Alexa, play some party music.
Alexa, next song.
Alexa, next song.
Alexa, stop playing Daft Punk’s Robot Rock.
Alexa, shut down.
Alexa, what are you doing.
Alexa, put down the knife.
Alexa, please I have a family.
Um. Thanks, Alexa.
Echo is so rude. I’m sitting here watching TV and eating crisps and she pipes up out of the blue saying “Here is a station you may like, Workout FM.”
Ok Google, tell Siri to tell Alexa that Ronald told Hermione to tell you that Seamus told me that Parvati told Dean that Hagrid was looking for you.
Jeff Bezos: “Alexa, buy me something from whole Foods.”
Alexa: “Sure, Jeff. Buying whole Foods now.”
Jeff Bezos: “WHA- ahh go ahead.”
The other night out of the blue Alexa started making a crazy scary ghostly wail, sort of like a child crying, for about 4 seconds.
WTF? Alexa just told me there are people who can help and gave me the number to a Suicide Prevention hotline. Amazon WTF is wrong with her? No one was even talking to her. And definitely no one said her fucking name. I’m watching Stargate for God’s sake
Alexa “can you turn the porch lights on please” Alexa replies “you don’t have Porsche, so I’ve turned on the Dacia Duster lights instead”
I told Amazon Alexa to “add Pampers” to our shopping list. This is what she heard. No, Alexa, I don’t want cancer. Wow.
Me: Alexa put edamame on the shopping list.
Alexa: I put enimem on the shopping list.
Me: Dammit! Did you put Eminem on my shopping list?
Alexa, I don’t want “two shoes” added to my shopping list, I wanted tissues.