While listening in on strangers conversations should still be considered rude and intrusive, sometimes you can’t help but pick up a juicy snippet of gossip, completely out of context, that is just comedy gold.
Overheard at the gas station:
Clerk 1: Janet worked last night, didn’t she?
Clerk 2: yeah why?
Clerk 1: The candy is organized by color again.
Clerk 1: dammit Janet
Overheard 15 yr old niece fighting with her friend : You think I can’t live without you ? Who do you think you are? My phone charger?
Overheard at Yale : “Realizing Trump is a villain now is like realizing Voldemort is bad in the seventh book”
overheard a guy at work say to his friend “i’m still never gonna forgive u for putting the national anthem on my sex playlist that was the most awkward moment of my life” LOLLL
I was at a party and a drunk girl passed me on the phone, crying, “I’m trying to find Marco, but people keep yelling back Polo..”
Overheard from child on playground: “I’m sad. Wait. There’s nothing to be sad about. Okay, I’m happy!”
overheard my dad talking on the phone with someone who asked how old I am and my dad said “19…20…something like that.” I’m 23
I just overheard my little brother say to my dog “why don’t you scratch my back for a change”
overheard a mom & her teen son arguing inside the church
mom: we’re going 3am mass its part of our penance
son: i didnt f*cking kill jusus
In SuperValu, as 2 women say a quick “hello” to each other, a little girl asks loudly: “Mammy, is that the lady you don’t like?”
overheard a trainer at the gym this morning:
“Honey listen. Life doesn’t get better. YOU get better.”
Oh how much I love that.
I just overheard someone say, “Harry Potter is so overrated, why doesn’t he just put some bio-oil on his scar and move on with his life?”
It is so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It is like the trash took itself out.
My four year old overheard a woman with a British accent talking and she turned to the woman, totally deadpan, and said “why are you talking fancy?”
My 11 year old brother is on the phone with his friend and I over heard him saying “psh yeah she picked jake over me because she said he texts back faster” and I’m crying
I walked by some kid in the hallway and he goes “I’d rather kill myself then commit suicide”
I once overheard the cop who pulled me over whisper into his radio “not our guy. This one’s got pants”
Overheard on flight:
Middle of safety instructions from staff:
“I case of a water landing…”
5 yr old boy to his Dad:
“ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS?”
I love this kid.
Just overheard some girls in my apartment building asking the handyman which floor the basement was on…
Today My Wife was at Costco when she overheard a conversation between a 70-something white man and a 40-something Asian man. The conversation went as follows, and has us both disgusted but also cheering:
Old White Man: Do you know of any good Chinese Restaurants?
Asian Man: I’m not sure, maybe Jingdu. (local restaurant)
Older White Man: Do you work there?
Asian Man: No sir, I do not.
Older White Man: No? Do you even know who our President is?
Asian Man: Yes sir, I sure do (slight chuckle)
Older White Man: Sure, you do… What, do you even do for work then?
Asian Man: Sir, I am a cardiac surgeon in the emergency room. Why do you ask?
Older White Man: Eyes widen and he walks away