Valentine’s Day plan:
1. Breakfast in bed
3. Watch movie
4. Dinner for two
5. Regret eating two dinners.
6. Cry alone.
Dr: What are you using for birth control?
Me: Just who I am as a person
Someone asked me if I’m ever scared that I’ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE.
Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.
him: you single? why?
I’m tireda being the only 1 who cleans, pays all the bills, cooks every day and does dishes in this house. I am the backbone of this family.
I live alone, but still
and I’m still single
9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both time.
“You’re beautiful and I love you,” I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied “I just want to be friends.”
So I’m @ the bank waiting in line & the guy in front of me is spitting game to the teller, she’s laughing & he’s attractive so I can tell she’s digging it, he asks her if he can take her out and she says “with what? The whole $11.96 you got in your account?” SON, my chest
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I’ve got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
Yup that just about sums it up
me realizing i have a crush on someone
Sometimes I think ‘maybe I should go out and meet people’ and then I remember I don’t really like people or leaving my house.
My dogs are all “Girl, you are awesome. Why are you single?” And I’m all “Probably because I have conversations with my dogs, dudes.”
My Valentines day reservation is Done
normal people flirting: hey you’re cute we should go out sometime (:
me trying to flirt: so do you like bread
When you’re done with men