In my 60s. My husband and I couldn’t have children. We regret that, but we enjoy our life and have freedom to do things we couldn’t do otherwise. It wasn’t a choice, but it has turned out fine.
I’m 44, wife is 39 for a few more months. We’re feeling absolutely fine, it’s the people we meet on a daily basis that seem to have problems with it.
I’d like to comment on behalf of my neighbors.
They’re an old couple, probably mid 60s, who have more energy than anyone their age that I’ve met. Instead of kids they seemed to adopt our neighborhood as their family: hosting jam sessions, drunk Christmas caroling, and ping pong tournaments.
Idk if not having kids has kept their attitudes young, but when I(mid 20s) hangout with them it doesn’t have that age gap feel to it, they just seem to have the energy of youth despite their age.
We got married in our early 30′s and wanted kids. We left it up to nature. Well nature said no. We decided we weren’t going to spend money on trying. It just wasn’t in the cards for us. We have a good life, travel, boating, pets. I love all my nieces and nephews and make a point of seeing them as much as possible. Just recently we found out that because of a medical problem I was having, they would have to the my tubes or insert an IUD. Thus killing any chances of us having children. Even though we knew it wasn’t going to happen for us, we kind of always held out hope it be that 50 miracle. Cried for days
I love kids. I love my nieces and nephews. I want to help them be good people, achieve their dreams, have experiences, and hear good advice from the viewpoint of someone not their parents. I love to play Evil Robot with them and family gatherings usually consist of me trying not to spill my beer while swarmed by squealing kids.
But I am an extremely introverted person, and I need a lot of time alone. I have never wanted children full time, and neither has my partner. We are, consistently, really happy with our choices to remain childless. The world needs awesome uncles and aunties to help shoulder the burden, and to slam kids on the bed yelling “Gravity takes you to the pit of Destruction!”
Rich. I feel rich.
My coworkers who make the same money as me complain all the time about not having enough, and here I am with more money than I know what to do with.
I liked the idea of having kids (but it wasn’t a deal breaker for me), my wife absolute did not want kids.
25 years later and we’re very happy with our decision. Don’t get me wrong; I tend to spoil any kids I get around if I have the chance. But not having kids has allowed us to travel more, to save more, and not to have to think about what to do with the kids when we want to go out to dinner.
(Though truth be told I’d probably make one of those obnoxious doting fathers who show everyone my kid’s pictures. I’m not regretful; I think I’d be just as happy, but my life would be unrecognizably different.)
My husband and I are both 48, married 25 years, no kids. Absolutely no regrets. We discussed it before we got married, and every few years after. Never changed our minds. His mother resents me to this day, despite the fact that she has 6 grandkids and 3 great grandkids from my husband’s siblings. She once told me that there was something mentally wrong with a woman who didn’t want to carry her husband’s child. I don’t spend a lot of time around her. Finally got my tubes tied over 10 years ago. We are happily child free, and enjoy our life immensely.
Image Credit: All The Moms
I am 47. I chose not to have kids, and married someone who can’t have kids.
We did adopt one of our nephews but, and I want to be clear on this, we did it not because we wanted a kid, but because he needed a better home. He was 17 when we adopted him, and He is now 19 and moved out late last year.
I work from home, and our home is happy and often full of laughter and all that other Hallmark shit. It’s a good life, and we both feel fulfilled.
Occasionally, we have people ask us what the secret is to our happiness, and honestly we don’t know, but kids are not really part of it.
Our 20th anniversary is coming up later this week.
DINKS in our 40’s. It’s awesome. Money, frequent travel, good sex, FREEDOM. A married couple that we are friends with that have young kids were telling us about how they are in the “roommate phase of their relationship” for the last few YEARS because they are always too exhausted to actually have sex. Yeahno. Pass.
However it seems that most people are happiest if they either want kids and have them, or don’t want kids and don’t have them. You do you. I’ll do me. Everyone is happy.
I’m fifty, no kids (no spouse). Absolutely no regrets, never wanted them (never really wanted a spouse either). Unlike others here, I don’t love kids; babies stress me out and younger kids are pretty annoying. I find kids most interesting when they reach about 12 or so and you can see them start becoming adults.
When people (mostly relatives) used to ask me about it, I’d be like “don’t jinx me!”. Now they don’t bother asking, I guess I’m old enough the question is kinda moot. Never got my tubes tied so it was always kinda a worry but I’m actually glad I always had the option if I had changed my mind (everyone changes so much over the years, way more than you realize when you’re twenty and know everything). A couple of times I day dreamed about having kids with some guy I was infatuated with but I realized I didn’t really want kids for their sake and that would be a horrible reason to have some.
We’re nearing retirement, (68 & 66), and decided not to have kids for a number of reasons- wife’s career, money, very different views on child rearing, etc. I wouldn’t say we have no regrets- occasionally we’ll see and spend time with our young friends with kids, and there are those “what if” moments. On the other hand, we’ll see and hear about families with kids whose lives are just turned upside down by really bad experiences. And it’s not always associated with the parents making bad choices- we see people who have done all the “right” things and have had lousy outcomes, and others who have just screwed up time and time again, and the kids turn out great, so there just seems to be such a random aspect to it that it’s kind of baffling
All that being said, we’re very comfortable with our decision. We’re financially comfortable, we travel quite a bit, and although we live far from immediate family, our young friends have kids who we can spend time with, baby sit on occasion, and get just enough kid time to keep us happy.
I am 51. I chose not to have kids because of serious family genetic problems. I miraculously don’t suffer from it but I carry the genes and the genetic specialist I saw said there was an 80% chance my children would be afflicted and a 50% chance my grand children would be afflicted. I decided I ethically could not subject a child to a life of suffering. My siblings did not make the same choice. Out of the combined 7 children they had 100% are afflicted. That’s the way odds work. Each child runs the 80% risk.
So, I am glad that I made the choice. But I love kids. I wanted four of my own before I found out about this. Some days I am really sad I never got to have them. But mostly it’s OK. I never wanted to adopt because the social safety net where I live is so strong that healthy kids are never given away for adoption and if I were to raise a disabled child, it would have been my own. I was never able to afford a donor egg/surrogate. A large part is just accepting that kids are just not in the cards for everyone. I’ve had a good life. I have an SO, hobbies, I have done some traveling, I have pet parrots who really are little people with feathers. I enjoy my life.