Recently, Twitter user @tinytwink has shared an embarrassing moment from their lives, “I once accidentally licked my fit Dentist’s hand whilst maintaining eye contact.”
In return for the hilarious confession, he asked others to reveal the thing’s they’ve done that made them die a bit inside.
First proper job interview. Got asked ‘how’s your grammar?’ With a confused face, I answered ‘she’s fine’… Still got the job.
I once had a customer come through register at work with a fishing pole and made the same joke I made OVERTIME w/one “be careful with that rod. It could poke someone’s eye out.”
The guy started laughing hysterically and I could’t figure out why. I looked up. Dude had 1 eye
Was working at a cinema, & was serving a man at the ticket counter. I’d glanced up & seen a furry head at his knee height & told him that dogs weren’t allowed unless it’s a guide dog. He didn’t seem to be getting it so I repeat it (louder). Furry head moves. It’s his child.
Leaving Tesco’s press the key button to unlock my silver Mazda 6.
Hazard lights flash, open the door and sit in. A guy is immediately outside knocking on the driver window.
My car was actually 2 cars up the row and we happened to press the buttons at the same time.
Interviewing someone for a job, I sneezed and farted at the same time
Going down really steep curving stairs wearing only a dresing gown. Slipped. Thought I’d die. Grabbed bannisters as I fell and swung through living room door naked loosing enormous fart. Quite surprised brother in law sitting on the sofa. Gathered dressing gown and said hello.
Sending my sister a picture of my hairy armpit, with my face pressed right up against it, lips pursed and drooling with a caption “get a load of this, bish”
I sent it to my boss instead.
I got no response; four years later, still never discussed.
After paying my window cleaner instead of saying “thanks goodbye” I said “thanks I love you”. 5 years later I still can’t look him in the eye!!!!!
Was having a lump removed from my breast, was lying awake on the table and someone in scrubs said “can I check your….” and I whipped my bo*b out and he looked embarrassed and said wristband to check your Date of birth! I wanted to run away and hide!
Took a homeless girl for lunch. Cafe didn’t take cards so she paid for me
I was holding my cat in my arms so the vet could give him an injection.My cat was struggling and frightened so I bent and kissed his head to comfort him, only it wasn’t his head, the vet had gripped his neck ready to inject and I kissed the back of the vet’s hand
I talk a lot when nervous. During a driving lesson I asked the driving instructor if anyone had accidentally grabbed his knee instead of the gear stick. A minute later I grabbed his knee instead of the gear stick.
At some work event once I said to someone “You look really familiar somehow. Have we ever met before?” and they said “Yes. Over there, about an hour ago.”
On a plane. Had a very bloated tummy. I undid the top button of my trousers. A few hours later needed the loo. Said excuse me to the man in the aisle seat. Stood up, stepped past him, trousers fell to my knees and I ended up sat in his lap in my pants.
Said ‘thank you’ to a cash machine with a queue of people behind me
I congratulated a work colleague on his new job at a ladies gym, telling him how much better he’d be than the last guy who was a total pervert. He thanked me. Later on someone told me he was taking over his brother’s old job.
Asked two women I was serving in a shop if they were mother and daughter only to be told they were married.
My mum couldn’t find something in the supermarket and asked an employee wearing a “happy to help” badge. The guy had no arms. He offered to take mum to the correct aisle. “No need” said mum, “just point it out.” I had to remove myself to the booze aisle.
At University, waiting for a mate to arrive for a weekend on the beers. He had a battered bright orange Fiesta. Saw his car pulling in the road. Ran out into the road forcing the car to stop. Pulled my shorts down. Started windmilling my knob. Looked up. Wasn’t his car.
When I was 10 I was on a family holiday in Spain swimming in the pool and thought I needed a fart ……the whole pool was evacuated