Smoke detectors are basically just you-su*k-at-cooking detectors.
Tired of recipes assuming I have a stove
I’m never cooking again
[wife while im in a coma]
when you wake up I’m gonna cook you you a big meal
fine we’ll order pizza
*beep babeep babeep babeep*
Stop wasting your money on cookbooks. Every recipe is just olive oil and garlic.
At the risk of sounding uninformed, what is a stove
I’ll cook dinner tonight
“are you gonna pretend like you’re hosting a cooking show again”
*takes out fully cooked dinner I made earlier* yes
When your mom doesn’t cook you dinner
Wife: How was your day, honey?
Me: Definitely didnt use your hair straightener to try & cook a grilled cheese
Me: I mean good
Why does cooking takes like six hours and eating take like three seconds and washing dishes take like seven days and seven nights
These biscuits are made from scratch. here’s the recipe: take 3 cups scratch mix it with a tablespoon of scratch and a pinch of scratch haha
Hello 911 [smoke alarm] so you can’t microwave aluminium foil?
Ya cooking is healthy & cheap. But u have to go to the “store” to get “ingredients” to make at ur “apartment” w/ a “stove” Where does it end
Who says I can’t cook? You obviously haven’t tasted my cereal.
Why does anyone put cookie dough in the oven when you can just put it in your mouth?