2. Phone calls are the most stressful thing a person can experience
3. How to stay healthy as an adult
True mark of adulthood: instead of your parents scheduling your doctor’s appointments, you just avoid going to the doctor & hope u don’t die
4. Some things are worse than death
Spilling a full drink you just paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
5. Adult friendships are a lot like this
Lol what are adult friendships DanyPolson
texting each other “haven’t seen you in so long! let’s hang out” repeatedly for years until one of you dies
6. How to get out of plans
Being an adult sucks cause when people ask you to hang out you cant be like “my mom said no” you just have to change your name and move away
7. You will never not be tired again in your life
8. Socks are basically adult gold
9. The many perks
Exciting perks of adulthood:
1. Busy! Busy all the time! What are you even doing? You don’t know!
2. Very tired.
3. Some kinda stomach ache???
4. Definitely sad about something.
5. Bills! Bills all the time! What are you even paying for? You don’t know!
10. You will become obsessed with tile floors
11. And grocery stores
One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favorite grocery store.
12. People aren’t 18 anymore
Sometimes I forget I’m 24 and all my friends aren’t 18 anymore
13. Everything you learned in school will never come up
me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?
school system: worry not
school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
14. You’re gonna eat the damn banana
Adulthood is eating the bruised part of the banana because you spent money and this is your goddamn banana.
15. There’s always food at home
16. How important rhyming is
I’m mature but not like mature-mature.
like I pay my own bills but I still say
“right tighty lefty loosey” to figure sh*t out.
17. Your index finger WILL get tired
tbh 90% of adulthood is just deleting emails
19. How to GET THINGS DONE
Spoiler alert: adulthood is 96% of you going “well, I hope this is how it works and I’ll keep doing it till someone yells at me”
20. And finally, there are no answers
The disappointment of becoming an adult & realising all the adults u thought had all the answers were just lying to themselves like u r now