A very Australian story
*australian teacher voice* This is NOT ON, girls. NOT ON.
Looking for Alibrandi subtitles struggling to understand the aussie accent saying ‘You’re my type of chick’, instead transforming it into some sort of weird English pleasantry
rt if you’re australian and you’d kill a man for only $2.99 shipping
When i was younger, i didn’t know that smh was ‘shaking my head’ and thought that people on the internet really wanted to talk about ‘sydney morning herald’ a lot
Australian summer weather shouldn’t be measured in degrees Celsius, but in the seconds it will take for the sun to strip the flesh from your bones.
Sydney Airport Express Pick-up: It’s express! Also Sydney Airport Express Pick-up: CROSS THE CURSED ROPE BRIDGE BY THE HEATHEN TROLL AND COLLECT THREE EMERALD GEMSTONES, UPON REACHING THE FORK IN THE ROAD —
if you wanna be my plover
you gotta protect my eggs
shrieking like the devil
swooping never ends
A normal Australian headline
regular person: where do you live
regular person: what?
regular person: melbourne?
regular person: are you trying to say melbourne?
“Let’s just get a roast chook and some rolls” — Australian summer proverb
Americans: “OMG do you Ozzies have like kangaroos hopping around your city streets??”
Australians to other Australians: *following epic eye rolling* “Can you believe how stupid Americans are?”
Wallaby: “Hold my joey.”
Whoever did this, you are a deadset legend.
Might as well shut down Twitter for the day. It’s peaked already.
There should be an Australian version of the Fantastic Four where the Human Torch is called the Flaming Mongrel.
yeah I’m into ASMR!
A -nd doesn’t that
S -ound familiar? Doesn’t that hit so close to home? Doesn’t that
M -ake you shiver? The way things could have gone? And doesn’t it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more? And so that I do
R-emember to never go that far
ᶜᵃᶰ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵘʰʰʰʰʰ
Found this note on the meter box this morning. Only in Australia
Weird how everyone’s photo of their dad from the 70s amalgamated into a living being and then became the bachelor.
This should be our national flag
Acceptable pie accompaniments:
- ice break
- big M
- sneaky dart
- cheeky duzza
Remember that in the Australian summer it’s illegal to go into a bottleshop and not say to the bloke working there “gee it’s nice in the cool room”
[on my deathbed]
at last, I am free from horniness. no more will I battle with The Thirst
[the next day]
Dystopian worldbuilding: people eat mostly a foodstuff made from one kind of easily grown monocrop, like corn or wheat. It comes unflavoured, in rectangular bricks, because that shape stacks efficiently, no wasted space, for transport & storage. Eating it is considered patriotic
Picnic at hanging rock (1975)
Australia is a very sexy continent