Kids just want to be grown-ups, but all grown-ups want are snacks and naps.
Why the fu*k would u wanna go big when u can go home
Being an adult is like losing your mom in a department store for years and years until you die.
How to be an adult:
Complain about being tired
Never complete lists
I am so tired
I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things?? That’s how they get you
Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s
Adult friendship is lots of cancelled plans and missed calls and missed phone dates and then really intense quick catch ups with life changing news that we laugh about and then text right after “I love you”
The irony of finally being old enough to do whatever you want when you’re “grown-up” is that you’re too tired to want to do any of it.
Adulthood means just sitting in your car in the driveway because you’re too tired to get out
I’ve found that 90% of my happiness in any situation depends on whether I have the option to sit down.
You become an adult when you open a carton of eggs to check it before buying.
[when a program says it contains mature themes]
yes. This is good. I relish in the thrill of such themes
I was wrong
Adulthood is just clicking this button everyday until you eventually die
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Me as a kid: I can’t wait until I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions
Me as an adult: Okay but wtf am I supposed to be doing
Adulthood is eating the bruised part of the banana because you spent money and this is your goddamn banana.
Adolescence versus adulthood.
Being an adult in 2018 means googling all unknown phone numbers that call you instead of just answering the phone.
I used to think that adulthood was one crisis after another.
I was wrong.
as it turns out, adulthood is multiple crises, concurrently, all the time, forever
I’ve spent my whole adult life chasing the high of a scholastic book fair
I think the most exciting thing about being an adult is never knowing what part of your body is going to hurt the next day.
I get so mad when people ask what i’m gonna do on my day off!!!! bitch i’m gonna recover from all my days on
Being an adult is 90% worrying about money and 10% spending money you don’t have on treats because you’ve worried a lot this week.
Being an adult is having the “we have food at home” talk with yourself.
Adulthood is wanting to cry for 4 days straight but not having the time
I’m an adult but more like an adult cat… Like someone should probably take care of me but I can also sorta make it on my own.