1. Hey, at least you don’t have a mouthful of gunk
My roommate though I made cinnamon rolls.
I actually made bacon.
He’s not happy with his finger scoop.
2. And at least you didn’t cry through at the worst possible time
I’ve always been told not to cry after a spray tan
3. And at least this didn’t happen to you
I work at a bank and his lady came in with a $150,000 check and to make conversation I was like “oh wow I wish I had one of these” then she deadass was like “it’s a life insurance check. I would rather have the person.”
4. Hey, at least your soul didn’t leave your body
5. And your cookies didn’t have an untimely death
6. And, hey, at least you didn’t ruin any weddings
7. It could be worse. I mean, you could be a Smurf for life
OKAYY SOO… ladies, DON’T YOU DARE BUY THE GALAXY BATH BOMB FROM KROGER. S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.
I was in the bath for a solid 5 minutes and now I am a freaking SMURF. It seriously dyed my skin. So to everyone I snapchat, enjoy looking at my forehead till I am no longer a smurf..
8. Or be on the wrong end of a wrong number text:
When the wrong number texts me
9. Or just literally be the most awkward person in the world
dude at pacsun asked for my number while i was cashing out and i was like oh sorry i’m not really interested hahah and this man looks at me and goes “i meant for the rewards program…” why am i the dumbest human being alive
10. I mean, think about it. At least your dog didn’t go on summer vacation in your house
The dog dragged the sprinkler through the pet door…
11. And at least you don’t have to teach a room full of kids about the fragility of human existence
This isn’t funny but we bought 60 caterpillars for my classroom and instead of growing into butterflies they ended up eating each other due to some kind of virus they had, and now I’m stuck reading books on the nature of death to help my students cope with the loss lmfao
12. And, hey, your E button still works
I have a research paper due in 4 hours and the letter M on my keyboard is broken
13. At least you didn’t send the worst possible text to the worst person
At this moment I knew I fu*ked up
14. And at least a little kid didn’t make you feel 100,000,000 years old
The kids I nanny asked why I wanted to see Incredibles 2 and I said because the first one came out when I was a kid
and they really asked ….
If it was in color
15. And hey, at least some nuns didn’t silently damn you to hell today
16. Just remember: auto correct still loves YOU
When auto correct hates you and your relationship
17. You still have your porch
18. And, hey, at least you’re not Danielle