1. When you entertain the idea of going to bed early…
Tonight I’ll actually go to bed on time and get sleep!
the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million

2. But then you remember the internet
me: i should to to bed early
me at 4 am:


3. When you wake up exhausted and can barely function
i’m more tired than these two combined


4. No amount of coffee can help you.
when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion


5. When you’re completely aware that your body clock is fu*ked
if ur sleeping patten is fu*ked up clap ur hands
if ur staying awake really late clap ur hands
if ur totally screwed when school starts and u really wanna show it
if ur sleeping patten is fu*ked up clap ur hands

6. When you want an early night, but not too early
9am: im so tired
12pm: im so tired
3pm: im so tired
6pm: im so tired
9pm: [someone] why dont u just go to bed now?
me: lol what like a loser

7. And every night, no matter what, is the same
12AM: can’t sleep, drank too much coffee
2AM: can’t sleep, too much coffee
5AM: can’t sleep, too much coffee
8AM: got no sleep I need coffee

8. When being told to go to bed makes you want to stay up even more
mom: don’t stay up too late.
me: k
mom: leaves


9. But your defiance just ends up hurting you
1am: Huh, I’m not tired…
2am: I feel great! Maybe I don’t need sleep?
3:04am: Euthanise me.

10. When you can barely remember a time when you actually slept like a ~regular~ person


11. 12. And your bedtime hasn’t been concrete since you were a child.
FRIEND: what time do you usually go to bed?
ME: 10:30ish sometimes 4

12. When your hopes of a good night’s rest is ruined by Netflix

When it’s 3 am but you’re trying to squeeze in one more episode

13. Or the fact that your brain just doesn’t know when to quit
Me: I’m so tired I could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
Me: gets in bed
Me: how was earth created
Me: who made microwaves
Me: how does the internet even work
Me: I’m hungry
Me: feels bad about something I did 4 years ago
Me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
Me: too wired to sleep.

14. When your strangest thoughts insist on keeping you up at night
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
*reason #42 why I can’t fall asleep

15. So you attempt to make up for lost time in vain
*tries to get eight hours of sleep in 3 hours*

16. When you have no idea how other people manage to go to sleep on time…
I hate people who can go to sleep as soon as they shut their eyes like that sh*t takes me 3 hours, 700 position changes and a sacrifice to the gods

17. When your sleepy self makes mistakes you’d never make otherwise
me at five am: should i sleep for two hours or stay up
me at now am: Did my coworker just say “email” or “bee jail”. what did the bee do

18. But you have no one to blame but yourself


19. When most of your time is spent doing “sleep calculations”


20. And when you resign yourself to the fact you’ll never, ever change
“you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late”
jokes on you I’m gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what

Via buzzfeed