Not saying MoviePass is worthless but I cashed in my card at the front counter for a slap bracelet and a spider ring.
MoviePass refusing to let me cancel is the hardest an ex has ever fought for me
MoviePass’s real subscription is paying $10 a month for a CEO to send you increasingly panicked weekly emails about bizarre changes to a theoretical theater-going service. Worth every penny.
MoviePass: when you absolutely, positively want to see Slender Man three times in one weekend.
Boy are you moviepass because you constantly change the terms of our relationship but still make poor attempts to give me some illusion of having control
In the end, it seems MoviePass’s business strategy really was “Let’s just do it and be legends”
New MoviePass policies
-Customer service line is Darth Vader’s “I am altering the deal” clip on a loop
-Only eligible movie is a VHS copy of partially-erased episode of Mr. Belvedere
-To mimic Tesla’s success, CEO begins tweeting insane things and sends a mini-sub to Thailand
Farewell to moviepass
The latest email from the CEO of Moviepass explains why, as of now, I will be able to see one movie a month if–and only if–I can assemble the statuette in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey before Olmec tells me I have run out of time.
Moviepass will only allow you to watch this vhs copy of Rush Hour, but you can watch it as many times as you want.
A girl, a maid, a lass.
They say: let’s go out soon and watch a film with Moviepass.
But Moviepass is gone,
and their love must fade away.
Like the shimmer of the moon
at the dawning of the day.
I hear more from MoviePass’s CEO than many of my close friends
My Strange Addiction: Obsessively reading the MoviePass twitter feed for the most recent rollercoaster company news and sassy posts by upset customers.
When I die I want MoviePass to lower me into my grave. That way it can let me down one last time.
Get you a girl who goes down as often as MoviePass
Mission Impossible: Ethan Hunt tries to use MoviePass to see Mission Impossible
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain #MoviePass
If there isn’t a documentary crew currently filming every moment at the MoviePass headquarters, we’ve failed as a species.
If MoviePass got a nickel for every MoviePass joke… they’d have a much better business model
He died as he lived – ignoring articles about MoviePass.