1. My avocado had a very tiny pit.
2. I planned avocado for dinner
3. A poem about the impermanence of life
4. You dream of science someday figuring out how to make all avocados look like this
5. The struggle of cutting into an avocado and immediately needing to consume it before it turns brown is REAL.
6. It’s true when people say they just want to make enough money to never have to worry about adding avocado.
7. You have nightmares about cutting yourself every time you have to get the pit out of an avocado.
8. When you’re shopping for avocados and find one that seems like THE ONE, you feel a deep sense of victory.
9. You know that if you cut into an avocado, you’re eating that whole thing.
10. You also know the feeling of eating so much avocado that it hurts, which is confusing
11. If you knew there was one perfectly ripe avocado, you’d do a lot of shit to make it yours
12. You have no judgments when it comes to other people’s avocado needs.
13. You have a moment of pure bliss each time you open an avocado and see that it’s totally perfect.
14. You simply can’t understand people who say they don’t eat avocado: It’s a good fat, damnit.
15. At this point you’re in a deeply committed relationship with avocado.
16. Because you know that when you need it, avocado will always be there for you.
17. You know loving avocado is a lifestyle, which you’re totally here for.