“Oh, we’re $16 now.”
If multiple women sit separately in a food court, each quietly eating a salad, do not interrupt us. We are silently communicating through salads, like whale song.
Accidentally just ate a full leaf of my kale salad that had NO dressing on it so now I no longer fear death or Gwyneth Paltrow.
Buying a salad is all fun and games until you have to eat it.
Still haven’t figured out a way to eat a big leaf salad without bringing shame on all my ancestors
Dress for the salad you want
Do you ever feel like you’ve been eating a salad for like hours and you’re still only half way done?
WHEN WILL IT END.
1. Wear Fitbit
2. Pack gym clothes
3. Pack salad
4. Go to work
5. Eat donut
6. Go out for lunch
7. Skip gym
Rinse and Repeat.
i’d like to formally apologize to the salad barista at sweetgreen for wrongly assuming the kale caesar did not come with chicken. based on her reaction when i asked to add chicken, this was an egregious, humiliating error on my part and i am extremely sorry
I long to go back in time and revel in that feeling of desperate optimism that swept over me 6 days ago when I bought this bag of spinach.
“This must be the salad spinner I ordered.”
To the UPS guy
mixed green salads are played out
If I order salad it should come chopped, I already did all of the hard work of ordering a salad and should not be expected to do more
Nobody writes music thinking people will one day eat salad to it.
This fly just landed on my salad and rubbed his lil hands together like he paid for this meal I think TF NOT
imagine hating yourself so much you’d wait 30 minutes in line at sweetgreen and then you’ll know what it’s like to be me
Will you excuse me? I have to take this salad email.