Dairy is literally poison.
I feel this is my soul.
DR “Hey you heard this one? What kind of cheese isn’t yours?”
DR “All of them. You’re lactose intolerant”
You’re not lactose intolerant. You’re just not a baby cow.
I’ve never met a lactose intolerant person who actually stops consuming dairy. y’all some wild boyz.
If you ever need a list of the best public bathrooms, date a lactose intolerant person.
News flash: I strongly despise people –
Dad: where do you want to go get ice cream
Me: I’ve literally been lactose intolerant since 5th grade
Dad: oh that’s right
If I ever am to get stopped by a cop because of speeding I’m 99% sure it’s gonna be because I have to go to the bathroom
If they could make actually good lactose free ice cream that would be legend dairy.
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard but then they find out I’m lactose intolerant and leave pretty quickly
The worst part about being lactose intolerant is the whole lactose intolerant part
I’m lactose intolerant. It was like lava.
“Am i lactose intolerant or does lactose just not tolerate me”
People who are lactose intolerant and actually adjust to accommodate that are too powerful. the amount of self control they possess frightens me
When you are lactose intolerant:
“Yea,though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil..” -Psalms 23:4
“Some people are like dairy; they never sit well with me.”