1. This changes the game in the service industry.
2. October 20, 2031 — mark your calendars now!
3. Humans are the OG USB drives.
4. Cats get 18 chances, unfair.
5. This feels like a personal attack.
6. What a beautiful surprise it would be if they didn’t know.
7. Call your parents and tell them you love them.
8. This both reduces my anxiety and raises it drastically.
9. How much BBQ sauce did they add before they gave up?
10. *Stares off into the distance as I vacuum up crushed potato chips off the carpet*
11. Thank goodness someone corrected the mistake.
12. At least I’m having something healthy with my fries.
13. This makes me question how often I should really wash my towels.
14. This question will ruin friendships.
15. There doesn’t need to be any more research done on this, thank you very much.
16. It’s probably best to just never invite me to do anything, ever.
17. Well, now I can’t sleep.
Tumblr / @incorrect-vt-quotes
18. This one is the hardest to say out loud.
19. Your mouth will never be the same.
20. The age old question: Which came first, the bird house, or the birdhouse?
21. At least they’re being scientific about it.
22. As Isaac Newton once said.
23. You will never be able to unread this.