1. On unspoken seating rules
People who sit right next to me in an empty movie theater, who hurt you?
2. On phone disruptions
Movie theater: Please silence your phones.
Me, who hasn’t taken my phone off silent since 2012: *double-checks*
3. On high prices
Just took out a loan from Capital One for my movie theater food. Hopefully I can pay it back in 5 years.
4. On avoiding those high prices
When you gotta sneak food in the movie theater
5. On snacking
I wanna know what GENIUS made popcorn… the LOUDEST food in the HISTORY of mankind… the mascot for movie theater snacks!!!!
6. On getting what you really want
my mom went into some random movie theater and asked for popcorn to go
7. On brilliant theater ideas
If I ever get rich I’m gonna buy a movie theater that allows dogs but not kids
8. On aging
You know you old when you’re in the movie theater and you look around for the remote cause it’s too loud.
9. On special skills
“so do you have any special talents?”
me: I can eat all my movie theater popcorn before the previews even start.
10. On making quick friends
The next time you’re at a movie theater while the previews are showing, look at the stranger next to you & say “We should see that together”
11. On unconventional movie snacks
When the lights dim in the movie theater and she goes into her purse for the 8 piece and biscuits>>>>>
12. On bending rules
Signs at the movie theater: “ABSOLUTELY NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED.”
13. On almost empty theaters
when it’s just you and one other guy in a movie theater
14. On awkwardness
movie theater employee: enjoy the movie
me: you too
15. On strict theater policies
To those people that work at the movie theater and put their life on the line to defend the honor of the theater policy chill tf out..
16. On tight spaces
when you’re at the movies and someone has to walk in front of you in the aisle
17. On comfort
When every seat is taken n you get front row at the movie theater