I hate “oomf” because i do not read it as “one of my followers” i read it as mario taking damage in mario 64
Very frustrated lady next to me at Gamestop: “My son Kevin wants Fork Knife for his birthday but no place has it in stock.”
me: I think it’s Fortnite.
Her: No. It’s definitely Fork Knife.
Sorry Kevin. I tried.
Ladies this is what real intimacy looks like
Give Eevee a Water Stone – Vaporeon
Give Eevee a Thunder Stone – Jolteon
Give Eevee a Fire Stone – Flareon
Give Eevee money to support their creative endeavors – Patreon
Naming Link “my dude” turns everyone you meet into a very chill bro
dream game project:
youre a fat dog at a dinner party where all the guests have been told not to feed you.
you have to find the weakest people and psychologically torture them into giving you scraps by tail wagging, staring, and begging, w/ varying cuteness multipliers
Wario and Waluigi are inverse versions of Mario and Luigi, hence the “W” names – “M” upside down, or inverted. For this reason, the evil version of Peach would not be called “WaPeach,” but rather, “beach.” In this essay I will
["guy who works at activision" voice] put eyeliner on the kangaroo. make the kangaroo’s waist tiny. no, tinier!! if the kangaroo isn’t wearing make-up, how will they know it’s a girl?! PUT A RED WIG ON THE FU*KING KANGAROO
Gamestop looked me right in my face and told me my PS3 was worth $18
Open-world RPG edition.
The first week of Pokémon GO was probably the closest thing we’ll ever have to world peace
“Mom said it’s my turn to use the Xbox”
mechanical keyboard owner: *CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK
CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK* “hi :)”
me: what do you want for dinner?
date: how about sonic
me: [under breath] he’s so fast how would we catch him
If you’re worse than me at video games you’re an uncoordinated dumbass. if you’re better than me at video games you’re a pathetic neckbeard. i’m exactly the right amount of good at video games.
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that you’ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss
why the fu*k do streamers buy those $400 gaming chairs that look like race car seats like what happens if u have a girl over one day n she sees it n asks if u race formula 1 cars or some sh*t like what are u supposed to say to that
I am thou… thou art i…. the shadow of the true self
The show wife Swap but for gaming set ups
Remember in Mario Kart when you thought you were in first place? Then realized you were looking at the wrong screen and crashing into walls and sh*t..