Writer and university professor Nyasha Junior turned to Twitter to ask women in their 40′s what advice they would give to their 20-something selves. The number of responses she received was overwhelming.
Here are some best.
I’m 62 and I’d tell her things get better with age. I feel like my most productive and creative right now. And I’ve got no more fu*ks to give. Aging is everything.
Leave after the first lie.
Never chase anyone who doesn’t want you. Not a job, not a love interest – you will always be begging for their attention. Go where you’re wanted, make your own opportunities, and never wait for someone to ask you to do what you want to do. Don’t forget your worth!
“Bad boys” are not fun or sexy. They’re actually bad people and will hurt you in some way shape or form.
Save more, travel more, say NO more, say what you feel AT THE TIME YOU FEEL IT more
You don’t have to give up any of yourself for the right person.
That confidence you see in women of a certain age? It is born of a magical exhaustion that truly prevents you from giving a hot damn. Be patient. You just ain’t that tired yet.
Stop trying to make everyone else happy. Owning things is not happiness, watch your money. Just because they are family doesn’t mean they cannot be toxic.
Learn your strengths and design a life where you use them everyday. Get liberated from the myth of well-roundedness. Find your edge, sharpen it, and then use it to craft a life you love.
Other people’s feelings are not your problem.
Your instincts are right.
1. Marriage does not equal happiness or contentment.
2. You’re on your feet all day; spring for better shoes.
Write your name on the bottom of every document you produce at work, when volunteering and keep a copy for yourself. Keep track of every accomplishment, no one else will.
Learn to disassociate love from heartache and pain. Those feelings are the result of trying too hard to love people who deliberately mistreat you.
1. Save more money. It’ll give you options later.
2. Run from toxic situations, esp. work. Stress kills.
4. Be your own hype woman. If that doesn’t come easy, encourage yourself like you’re talking to your fav niece. (Got this from #3.)
Let go of the mistakes you’ve made in the past and where/what/who you think you *should* be.
Embrace who you are today and build upwards from there.
It’s never too late to change your path.
Stop seeking the approval of men who aren’t worth it.
1. Be less afraid to work for your own happiness.
2. Go on vacation and take cute pictures.
3. Stop thinking so much about the man you love, either he is yours or he isn’t, it isn’t much you can do to change that.
4. Go ahead and try, the worst they can say is no.
Fall in love often.
Treasure your girlfriends, treat them well.
SLEEP – all the things you’re worrying about will work out.
Be good to partners who are good to you-settle for nothing less.
(You’ve got this, pretty girl. Don’t you worry ’bout a thang.)
Take some more chances.
Be a little less “practical” and take that trip.
Lose the toxic friends sooner rather than later. Keep the good ones closer.
Compliment yourself more, like you would a friend.
Words hurt so remember that when fighting.
Love happens more than once.