“oh ok” actually means my heart just got ripped into a million pieces but i won’t tell you because you wouldn’t care how i feel anyway
itsdaniielbtw / Via twitter.com
“Did you sleep well”
itsaustonpugh / Via twitter.com
If you’re ever with me and someone comes up to me and starts talking and I don’t introduce you, it’s strictly because I don’t remember their name. So please feel free to be a dope person and introduce yourself so I can then hear said name and pretend I knew it the whole time.
DewaynePerkins / Via twitter.com
I deada*s be trying to take 2-3 minute naps in the morning, alarm goes off at 7:35 and I’m like “shii I’ll get up at 7:38″
ItsKyllle / Via twitter.com
My conscience escorting me to my messages once a week to reply to all the friends i’ve been ignoring
poolsideconvooo / Via twitter.com
Every work email I send:
Sorry to bug you!
Was just wondering
(If it’s not too much trouble)
Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do?
Totally fine if not!
Prob my fault anyway I’m an idiot :)
Sorry to bother you!
Sorry I exist!
Just let me know!
emily_murnane / Via twitter.com
Instagram: look how lovely my life is
Twitter: look at my life falling apart
benoobrown / Via twitter.com
School and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes
imartinezp_ / Via twitter.com
I’m impressed with how ugly I’m willing to look in public these days
Imaaannmoooss / Via twitter.com
2008: I don’t talk to strangers on the internet.
2018: I only talk to strangers on the internet.
DianaG2772 / Via twitter.com
Do u ever want to take a nap but the nap doesnt want to take u
AmoNickk / Via twitter.com
“But you said your 10 mins away”
First of all I didn’t say where I’m 10 mins away from
ImTheeBrock / Via twitter.com
chazellehurwitz / Via twitter.com
How come when i eat just a buttered piece of bread at home it’s a struggle meal but when i eat just a buttered piece of bread at a restaurant i’m like wow the luxury of it all
deliawithit / Via twitter.com
Sibling culture is not talking to each other for awhile and then texting them “this is you” along with a picture of an ugly bird you found online
Kristen_Arnett / Via twitter.com
One week into vacation
My body: please, a vegetable.
Me: a croissant?
My body: I’m begging you, a single leaf of kale.
Me: so another bowl of pasta?
BabsSzabo / Via twitter.com