- Fred, Velma, Shaggy… Can you name one of the ‘Big 5′ African animals?
- We know you do, Scooby, but it’s not your team’s turn
0point5twins / Via twitter.com
yipe / Via twitter.com
Clark Kent: *sets glasses on kitchen table*
Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don’t recognize it.
stevevsninjas / Via twitter.com
raccooons / Via twitter.com
RealBootyGoon / Via twitter.com
Remember when you were little and you’d fall on the trampoline and everyone would keep jumping so you couldn’t get back up? That’s how adult life feels
PrettyRicc / Via twitter.com
rachmeetsworld / Via twitter.com
muhcoochee / Via twitter.com
Thought I’d lost the dog there turns out av accidentally put the recliner down on him and he’s been lying inside the couch for an hour no giving a fu*k
sdel6795 / Via twitter.com
This is truly one of the worst pieces of home decor I’ve ever seen.
bryonygundy / Via twitter.com
Flight Attendant: Help! Is there a doctor on board???
Weird Aunt: *holding bottle of lavender essential oils* I have something even better
AdamBroud / Via twitter.com
WhitneyM02 / Via twitter.com
Went to class today really thinking i had grabbed my computer off the kitchen counter
abbydermody / Via twitter.com
every white boy in a teen film when someone compliments them: *scoffs* yeah well tell that to my dad….
orionnichole / Via twitter.com
Do regular dogs see police dogs and say oh sh*t it’s the cops
SawyerBollitier / Via twitter.com
God: Now make it hard to store leftover avocado
God: Because … ⁰[God pulls off mask and is actually Devil in disguise]
Angel: No! Not again!
Devil: Peace out, motherfu*ker.
[Devil runs out. God enters] God: So sorry, I thought we said Conference Room 4
natalietran / Via twitter.com
Verity_Holloway / Via twitter.com
How are unicorns fake but giraffes are real like what’s more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck
_kylebrownlee / Via twitter.com
How did chucky manage to murder so many people??? just pick him up and yeet him in the bin. he’s a doll
thholyghost / Via twitter.com
wqlverines / Via twitter.com
skylxrksays / Via twitter.com
Sick of recipes calling for a miserly one shallot. give me a recipe that asks for a whole bunch!! what do you want me to do snack on shallots
tfswebb / Via twitter.com
[at a dive bar]
Friend: Look, I know you’re disappointed, but we should at least have one drink.
Me: *wearing flippers, a wetsuit and a snorkle* I’d like to leave, please.
Skoogeth / Via twitter.com
When the moon hits your knees
And you mispronounce trees
ftrain / Via twitter.com