Debmar-Mercury / Via

1. The pumpkin payback
I have a friend whose pumpkin\fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. happened every year. my friend decided to put a stop to it.
He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest punkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display.
The jackass broke the axle of his shotty car when he hit that pumpkin. could not drive away. my friend had his car towed away, too.
cuddlenazifu*kmonstr / Via

2. The Starbucks surprise
I used to manage a Starbucks when one of my baristas asked a guy his name and he just flipped the fu*k out belittling her, called her stupid etc and didn’t give a name. Anyway I take over the hand off drinks and place his drink just on the hand off with no words. (I’ll add it was a busy store with a lot of people waiting.
I just keep putting drinks out for about 10/15 minutes and douchebag walks up and picks up his drink that’s now lukewarm and goes “is this mine?” I just respond with “I don’t know it doesn’t have a name on it”.
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3. The advertisement assault
My friend did some work for a guy who skipped his bill and never paid him. My friend is so petty he did many things…such as;
Placed fake for sale ads with too good a deal like a nice boat for 1000$ and other numerous ads with the guys number.
Our city is big on garage sales. He posted ads like “moving out sale, everything must go, cheap! Will be held inside the house, just walk in or ring the door bell” then put this guys address on the ad.
He also signed him up for numerous “free gym memberships” and responded to things like car dealership ads with this guys phone number.
He did a lot more, that’s just what I can remember. I don’t know who I feel more sorry for.
Ash1989 / Via

4. The tech torturer
Damn, that is some work. Reminds me of when someone owed me $50 and refused to pay, so being in IT I reduced their Mailbox size so they could only hold around 10 e-mails, removed them from distro groups so they missed important group e-mails, and every day for like 3 months I went to their account and checked the little box “Must change password at next login”.
roguemerc96 / Via

5. The beach bullies
We were kids staying at the seaside on holiday with our family. My little sister would always make a pretty sandcastle, and the next day it would have been kicked down and she’d cry. We wanted to find out who was doing it, so one day we stayed behind to spy. We watched as a bunch of jerk older boys came by and kicked her castle down, laughing smugly. So the next night, we covered a big beach rock in sand and decorated it. Like clockwork, the jerk kids came with their smug faces and this time kicked a solid rock with all of their might. The yowl and the look on their faces was the best revenge ever.
AmyDiaz99 / Via

6. The ketchup counterattack
My coworker sometimes throws out her lunch in the garbage can at my desk instead of her own, because she claims she can’t stand the smell of old ketchup that’s been sitting out for a couple hours. I’ve asked her several times to stop, but she will then just wait until I get up to go to the bathroom and do it, and hide my garbage can under my desk so she thinks I won’t see it.>
Every time she does it, I wait until she goes to the bathroom, take out the little plastic container that she had ketchup in, and put it way in the back of her bottom desk drawer. There’s 6 in there now, the oldest is over a month old. So far, she hasn’t noticed the smell. Gonna keep doing it and see how long it takes her to notice.
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7. The popcorn payback
I’ve told this one before, but it makes me happy to retell it.
I had a boss 7-8 years ago whom I hated. She was the fakest and most entitled person I had ever met. One day, she decided that she didn’t like the smell of microwave popcorn…so she waved her magic office wand and had it banned.
Fast forward a month or so. I was browsing Amazon and found one of those USB sticks that emits a smell when plugged in…the smell of buttered popcorn. I bought it, plugged it into the back of her computer, and she had the sweet smell of PopSecret in her office for six fu*king months. She complained almost every day. It’s the sweetest revenge I’ve ever tasted.
weshric / Via

8. The sh*t storm
My girl told me that the neighbour across the street was instructing his dog to go sh*t on our lawn. I doubted he was telling his dog to do it but was home sick for a few days and saw it myself. I asked the owner to stop it and he said the dog wouldn’t “listen”. When I asked him to at least clean up the sh*t, he said his dog was only peeing. We had our own dog and I took a weeks worth of his land mines plus the neighbours dogs sh*ts for the week and walked across the street and threw them all over his front yard and walk way one night. Somehow the neighbours dog listened after that and never sh*t in my yard again.
mysteryslice / Via

9. The roommate retribution
My college roommate had a bad habit of leaving her things in piles on our bathroom floor until there was almost no space to walk to the bath or toilet. Not just clothes but change, jewelry, decks of playing cards, knitting needles, books, hairpins, scarves, earbud headphones, keys, etc. One day she left $40 scattered with the mess, so I put the money in one of her lesser-used bathroom drawers. Originally I put it there to protect it from our third roommate and her friends. When I came home the next day and noticed that she was clearing her mess in an effort to find it, I decided not to tell her where the money was until our bathroom floor was spotless.
Afterwards, I decided it would be too awkward to tell her the truth so I left the money wadded up in her hamper as I’d found it on the floor. She was ecstatic when she found it on laundry day. After that her bathroom piles never got quite as big.
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10. The birdseed backlash
I caught my flatmate telling lies about me to some mutual friends. I made plans to move out the next month. In the meantime, she went out of town for a week, and left her car parked in its usual spot in the parking lot. I threw birdseed on it every morning and evening, so when she came home, the birds wouldn’t leave her car alone.
otefl / Via

11. The clown car
There’s a new truck in my apartment’s parking lot. Always taking up multiple spots, ALWAYS. Weird angles, close to the stairs, all over the place (no assigned parking unfortunately). Months of this.
I drive a much smaller car than that, and I’m petty/passive aggressive, I’ve been waiting for my chance. A few days ago was my shot.
I got home quite late and there were zero spots open in my lot. Big truck is double parked again, but there’s juuust enough room on their driver side for me to sneak in there with my little clown car. I carefully pull in, making sure not to touch anything, no damage, no nothing. My passenger side mirror is half and inch from their driver side door. I giggled to myself all the way back to my apartment and set an alarm and waited. The following morning I wake up before the alarm to loud door slamming and stomping around I check out my window and I see the double parking culprit walking around both vehicles, taking pictures, texting someone, taking more pictures, I’m shaking with glee. They then swallow their pride, let out a visual sigh, and climb in the passenger side, clamber over the center console, and Austin Powers 20 point turn their butts out of the spot.
I’ve never been so proud of myself and my sh*tty, petty, passive aggressive ways.
Here2Lol / Via

12. The fire hydrant fake out
When I was a kid my family lived in a house on a street with GIANT oak trees. Because of the slope of our yard leaves from half the street would end up in the yard.
My mother had really bad asthma and allergies and made us kids rake up the leaves.
This was not an easy task. They would get several feet deep if we didn’t do it often enough.
One day we raked the whole yard into these giant piles for the city to come pick up. It took several hours.
The next morning they were scattered all over.
We raked them again over several more hours and it happened again. Apparently the neighborhood bully was knocking them over just to be a di*k.
The next time we made a super huge pile around the fire hydrant hoping he’d kick them and hurt his foot.
Nope, this time he decided to do a run and jump. I watched it peeking through the blinds. He ended up breaking several bones. I didn’t even feel bad.
kperkins1982 / Via

13. The cooking lard cheesecake
At my previous job, we had separate refrigerators for the different shifts. Our food was constantly constantly being stolen or messed with. One day, my buddy and I decided to make a nice cherry cheesecake… out of cooking lard. We finished it off with graham cracker crust and cut a couple of slices out of it since we knew the thief wouldn’t be brazen enough to take the first bite. We never found out who the thief was, but we never had to worry about anyone messing with our food ever again.
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14. The guessing game
My brother did something to his annoy his then girlfriend. So she took the labels off all his canned food/tins in the cupboards. Are you opening a tin of beans? Or a tin of tomato sauce? Or cat food?
Kinda hilarious.
WhoriaEstafan / Via

15. The arcade avenger
I use to go to this arcade and play a certain basketball game (as my name indicates). I was climbing the all time wins leaderboard in said game (very close behind number 1)when one day my account vanishes! None of the other accounts do, and i learn that somehow the #1 wins player (who works there) had a hand in it. I waited until he played another game and watched as he put in his code for his initials/account, then waited 30 min when he was done, logged into his account on that machine and tanked a game pretty hard. When i was done his record dropped to 210-1. Unfortunately i did not see his reaction, but i got way too much vengence satisfaction from it.
Nbajamkiller99 / Via

16. The reverberating retaliation
I had a roommate in college that would blare their tv in their room and talk loudly on speakerphone well into the night. I was young and too big a pussy to confront them about it. After a semester I had had enough. One time before going out I put my speakers up against our shared wall and blasted Enya’s Only Time on endless repeat. I also locked my door so they couldn’t come in to turn it off. I got back around 3am.
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More info: r/AskReddit, H/T BuzzFeed